


Gonna Getcha

by Riadasti



Category: Bob's Burgers (Cartoon)
Genre: Aged-Up Character(s), Bisexual Character, Closeted Character, Denial of Feelings, F/M, Family Feels, Family Fluff, First Kiss, Fluff and Humor, Friends to Lovers, Jimmy Jr. is a turd, New Friendship, The Belchers are my favorite, Zeke is a darling sweetheart
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-11-07
Updated: 2020-12-27
Packaged: 2021-03-09 03:54:56
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 13
Words: 19,881
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27428263
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Riadasti/pseuds/Riadasti
Summary: ...or all the times Tina started to reconsider her feelings towards Zeke. And in turn, what she thought she had with Jimmy Jr.
Relationships: Louise Belcher/Rudolph "Regular Sized Rudy" Steiblitz, Tina Belcher & Jimmy Pesto Jr., Tina Belcher/Zeke (Bob's Burgers)
Comments: 35
Kudos: 86





	1. Buckle It Up

**Author's Note:**

> Ok, so I adore Bob's Burgers. It's hands-down one of my favorite cartoons. It is hilarious but full of heart. I think there's some clever forecasting in this show, played out by some pretty amazing writing and witty scripts. (Be prepared for the usual suspects you see in Bob's Burgers fanfiction - Jimmy Jr. is a closeted gay boy dealing with his own feelings, he still treats Tina like crap, Zeke is on the sidelines just wishing Tina would see he is the best thing for her--oh, and maybe some bonus Louise/Rudy content. I don't know yet). 
> 
> Read, comment, throw some kudos my way! It's almost Christmas, after all...;)

“Tina, watch the left side—the left—LEFT, TINA _LEFT_!” Bob bellowed from the passenger seat.

Tina overcorrected (all while emitting her characteristic groan), sent the car reeling into the right shoulder, and finally rolled to an awkward, stuttering stop.

She responded with intermittent groans and exclamations of, “Sorry, _uuuuuuugh_ , sorry, _uuuuuuugh_ , sorry!”

Bob wiped a bead of sweat from his brow. “It’s okay,” he said, his tone still clearly harried. _This was a terrible idea_ , he thought.

Tina groaned in frustration. “Ugh, why is this so difficult?!”

“Just—let’s just sit here for a moment,” Bob said, doing his absolute best to be reasonable but secretly grateful for the respite.

Where was Linda to pipe in with an annoying yet surprisingly apt tune to cheer their daughter up? Oh, that’s right—she was at home enjoying a _Say Yes to the Dress_ marathon with Gene and Louise. He wasn’t surprised Gene loved it (“an empire waist with _that_ figure? Dream on, sister!”), but Louise swore she only watched it for the “sick drama of it all.” Bob shook his head, baffled. He knew Linda needed a distraction from the realization that Tina was 15 and learning to drive (“Awwww, my little _baaaaby_ is growing up!”).

Tina’s overly exaggerated deep breaths beside him brought him back to the present. He glanced at her, hoping she wasn’t about to hyperventilate. _Oh, God,_ he thought. _This was a really bad idea._ He recalled their last adventure and stifled the familiar burn of frustration ( _she hit a parked car…in an empty parking lot…_ ). He loved his daughter. He really did. But _how_ —

Just then, a truck roared past them, barely missing the side mirror and rocking the parked station wagon with the backdraft. A familiar curly-haired figure was hanging on for dear life in the truck bed.

“Was that—?”

“Zeke!” Tina finished Bob’s open-ended question.

They watched the truck swerve side to side in sharp curves. Oncoming traffic came to a halt, but this didn't seem to deter the driver at all. In fact, the hoodlum and his cronies were waving their arms out the windows and taunting the other cars with loud jeers. Zeke was tossed around the truck bed like a loose sack of potatoes.

“What is he doing hanging with those idiots?” Bob said.

He always liked Zeke, especially since discovering the kid’s innate cooking abilities. But he felt his opinion of him dwindle at the spectacle in front of them.

“We have to help him,” Tina said under her breath, putting the car in gear. It rolled forward, and she roared the engine before realizing her mistake and putting the car in drive instead of neutral.

“Wait, Tina—”

“He’s going to fall out and get hurt.”

“No, Tina, you’ve got to look—”

“We can’t wait!” Tina gunned the station wagon and peeled after the truck.

A car horn sounded behind them. Bob yelled an apology, realizing the futility in this as the offended driver just flipped them off. He really hoped it wasn’t somebody they knew.

Tina drove almost as erratically as the truck in front of them, but she managed to keep pace. They ducked into a nearby alley, and she slammed on the brakes when she saw Zeke fly out of the truck and onto the unforgiving concrete.

Bob reached over to open his door, but only after yelping and telling Tina to put the car in park so it didn’t keep rolling forward like it was.

“WE CAN’T HELP HIM IF WE RUN OVER HIM!” Bob yelled, then followed it with (still shouting), “I’M SORRY, I’M NOT ANGRY AT YOU—YOU’RE DOING GRET!”

They both rounded the front of the car and approached the huddled figure.

“Sweet be- _jeezus_ , that hurt!” Zeke said with his thick country drawl, slowly lifting himself into a sitting position.

After ensuring he had no broken bones or that he hadn’t hit his head (too) hard, Bob let his frustration boil over.

“Zeke, what were you thinking? You and your friends could have caused a wreck, or worse—someone could have gotten seriously hurt. You fell out of a _moving vehicle!_ What were you _thinking_?? That has to be the dumbest—”

“Dad!” Tina yelled, effectively silencing him. She rarely yelled.

Bob huffed and was about to offer a half-ass apology, but Zeke picked himself up from the pavement and dusted off his shorts.

“Those weren’t my friends,” he said, not making eye contact and speaking softer than he normally did. “Those were my stupid cousins. They’re always making me do dumb crap like that, saying I need to toughen up and stuff. I didn’t have another ride home, and…I’m real sorry, Mr. B.,” Zeke finally met Bob’s gaze.

Bob saw that Zeke’s usually ruddy face was pale, and his characteristic swagger was nonexistent.

“It’s—it’s alright, Zeke.” he sighed. “Get in the car, we’ll take you home.”

“Can I—?” Tina piped up.

“Heck no, I’m driving,” Bob insisted.

\--

The ride was quiet. Well, except for the smooth jazz on the radio, which Tina’s dad decided might soothe his rattled nerves. Her own nerves were completely on edge—not just from the stress of learning to drive a car with her father as copilot.

Tina didn’t know what came over her earlier. She saw Zeke flopping around helplessly in the back of the truck, and with uncharacteristic speed, she sprang into action.

And she didn’t even _like_ Zeke. 

Well, at least, she didn’t _like-like_ him. He was loud and sometimes crude, and he was always in the way when she wanted to spend time with Jimmy Jr. But something about seeing his pale, terrified face—her heart went out to him.

Tina hazarded a glance in his direction. Zeke’s eyes averted suddenly.

Had he been looking at her? She frowned. 

There were no two ways about it. She was going to have to write some serious Friend Fiction to work through this.


	2. Here Goes the Hair

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Zeke thinks he's not being awkward (he is) and tries to remedy the situation (he doesn't). Tina is confused.

Zeke rounded the corner, and—in a sea of lockers, his eyes found hers.

“Hey, T-Bird,” he said, staying on the opposite side of the metal door. He let out a forced laugh. “Get it? Like, the Thunderbird car. Like—cause of…last night?” He was talking too loud and he knew it, but he couldn’t stop.

She shut her locker and gave him one of her signature blank looks. He scratched the back of his head, wishing he knew what she was thinking. He couldn't tell if she was upset, happy, indifferent…he hoped it wasn’t the last one.

“I mean, uh…yeah, girl,” his voice lowered to a soft mumble. He couldn’t meet her direct gaze anymore. “Thanks, or something.” After studying his shoes for a beat, he took off (almost running) down the hall and tackled his best friend.

“Ow, Zeke!” Jimmy Jr. cried out with his thick lisp. “Ge’off me!”

Zeke gave his friend a noogie and ignored the feeling of a specific pair of eyes boring holes into the back of his head as they darted to math class.

He was restless and fidgeting the rest of the day. Every time he caught sight of Tina, he found an excuse to go the opposite direction. He was apprehended in the halls several times by Ms. Labonz (who was transferred to the high school after a suspicious string of thefts caused the school to adjust their staff—though none of them were brave enough to officially charge the light-fingered woman).

“Zeke!” a deep, gravely voice called from the end of the hall. “If I catch you running late one more time—”

“Sorry, Ms. L!” He called back, ignoring her pointed glare as he rushed to his next class.

He promised himself to snatch an extra pack of his dad’s cigarettes and leave them in Ms. LaBonz’s new office as a (not so) anonymous apology. LaBonz knew the kid sometimes bummed cigarettes off his dad just to look tough, and she only turned a blind eye because they happened to be her favorite brand.

He paused outside the classroom door. “C’mon, kid. Just get it over with,” he said, trying to psych himself up.

He had been delaying this particular class as long as humanly possible, but it was unavoidable. After punching himself in the arm for added morale, he slipped into the room and rushed to his seat—nearly toppling to the floor on the other side with his speed.

Dr. Finch said nothing and continued to drone on about proper microscope usage.

“Do not, under any circumstances, turn the objective lenses without first ensuring that the stage is lowered to—”

A quiet tinkling of glass was heard, and all eyes turned to Tammy and Jocelyn’s station. Tammy stared in horror at the shattered glass slide now littering their table.

She blinked, blushed furiously, and said, unconvincingly, “Oh my God, Jocelyn! What are you _doing_?”

Jocelyn looked up from where she had been chewing on a hangnail with a vacant expression. “Oh my God, whaaaat?”

Dr. Finch pinched the bridge of his nose. “Case in point,” he said. “Just follow the instructions on the sheets, class.” His voice was weary and flat.

Zeke wondered absently what a guy with a doctorate (who insisted everyone must use the term “Doctor” when addressing him) was doing teaching at Wagstaff High School, anyway. But he didn’t have time to mull this over long.

“So, Zeke…” Tina said beside him.

His breath hitched. This was what he had been dreading. He and Tina were biology partners.

“Wassup, T?” Zeke did his best to be nonchalant, only to realize he was still wearing his backpack like a goober.

“I guess we should…get started?” She pointed to the slip of paper under Zeke’s meaty fists that were in tight, anxious curls.

“Oh, whatta ya know?” he said, his laugh coming out as a loud bark.

Several students stopped staring at Dr. Finch’s cleaning efforts with Jocelyn and Tammy and gave Zeke confused looks.

He cleared his throat and handed her the piece of paper.

Tina took the instruction sheet and studied it closely, her eyes moving back and forth behind her thick lenses. Zeke found himself watching her from the corner of his gaze, wondering what she looked like without the heavy glasses. He had never seen her without them.

 _Get a grip, dude_ , he chided himself. What was with all the introspection? He swore, this woman was going to be the death of his reputation as a straightforward, red-blooded jock.

In between each paragraph, Tina’s gaze drifted toward Jimmy Jr. and Lenny DeStefano’s table. Zeke knew she had been supremely disappointed not to be Jimmy Jr.’s partner. No matter, he reasoned with himself. Jay-ju didn’t know how to make her laugh.

“We about to be in a hairy situation, T-Bird?” he asked, nudging her slightly.

She gifted him with a soft snort and a smirk.

Well, if that’s all he was going to get, he would take it. And gladly.

\--

"What do you guys think of Zeke?" Tina not-so-casually asked her siblings one Saturday morning.

Louise kicked her feet against the couch as she stared blearily at the TV screen. She had determined there was _nothing_ to watch, so they were currently watching a _World's Grossest Animals!_ marathon.

"What do I think of him as a sub-human, or...?" Louise asked.

"Yeah, like--no, as a _fellow_ human being. Or a friend, or whatever." Tina corrected.

"As a fellow human being, he's a fine specimen. As a friend, 10 out of 10, would hang out with him again," Gene said with his usual animation and enthusiasm.

"He's better than Jimmy Jr," a small, raspy voice added.

"Hear, hear, good sir!" Gene agreed.

Tina glanced over. "Oh, hi Rudy. I forgot you were here."

Rudy sighed. "It's okay." And in a softer voice he added, "Lots of people do."

Louise rolled her eyes. "Rudy, stop being melodramatic," and tossed a throw pillow at him, hitting him squarely in the chest.

He grunted. "A flush hit. 10 points to Gryffindor."

" _Hufflepuff_ , you idiot!!" Louise corrected.

Tina glanced between Rudy and Louise, her eyes narrowing slightly. She was getting more inspiration for a fringe friend fiction that, for once, didn't have a Tina-esque figure as the heroine. Perhaps--but then her mind jolted back to Rudy's words.

"Wait, you think he's better than Jimmy Jr.?"

Rudy shrugged a shoulder, glancing once at Louise, who was gently shaking her head with a glare.

He either missed her silent warning or totally ignored it. If the latter, Tina held a new level of respect for the asthmatic tween.

"Yeah, Zeke is way nicer to you. You're just blinded by the rose colored glasses of love." He looked like was going to continue in this vein, but Louise hit him with another pillow.

"Gross!! Can we stop with this lovey-dovey crap? I wanna see how this wasp lays its eggs in the lady bug..."

Rudy's face turned a slight shade of green. "I think I'm going to be sick."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is my first Bob's Burgers fic, and I am thoroughly enjoying myself.
> 
> I love feedback of all kinds, so feel free to drop a note below! Kthxbye.


	3. Date Night

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tina gets asked out on a date. It...does not go well.

Zeke realized he couldn’t avoid her forever. Eventually, he had to have a harsh talk with himself.

 _So, alright. Here’s them hard facts, son. You have a crush on Tina Belcher…the on-and-off-again girlfriend of your_ best _friend. So that’s an issue._

“We’re gonna go to the Wharf tonight. You coming?” Jimmy Jr. intruded on Zeke’s thoughts.

“Do whut?” Zeke asked, equal parts distracted and dismayed.

“You, me, Tammy, and Tina at the Wharf,” Jimmy Jr. said with painful deliberation as if speaking to a toddler. “You like Tammy, right?”

Zeke frowned, but tried to keep his tone upbeat to avoid suspicion. “I mean, I guess she’s alright.”

“Cool,” Jimmy said, diving into a discussion about the latest dance craze he found on YouTube. 

Zeke let his mind drift while his friend droned on, unaware that he wasn't really paying attention.

\--

Tina readjusted her shirt for the millionth time and groaned at her reflection in the mirror.

“What, what’s the matter, baby?” Linda poked her head into Tina’s room and gave her daughter an appraising look. “Oooh, don't you look spiffy! Like a sexy lumberjack girl!”

Tina grunted. “I don’t want to look like a lumberjack, Mom. Jimmy Jr. and I are going on a hot date tonight.”

“I don’t like the term ‘hot date!’” Bob was heard protesting from the living room.

“Oh, hush, Bob,” Linda responded with a wave of her hand. “C’mere, my lil’ Tina. We’ll get you fixed up.”

“Gasp! Are we doing a makeover??” Gene burst into the room.

Tina groaned. She could never get any privacy in this house.

Fifteen minutes and half a can of hairspray later, Tina was feeling…okay. Not as hot as she wanted, but still. Okay.

“There!” Linda said triumphantly, fixing the last safety pin at the bust line on the flannel button-up Tina was wearing. “Us busty ladies have to learn all kinds of tricks to wear these kinds of shirts. You can thank _me_ for that!” Linda winked at her oldest daughter.

“Gross!” Louise cried from the living room. “You’re ruining ‘Hawk and Chick,’ people!”

After coercing Tina to do Gene’s version of a catwalk fashion show, she was finally ready to leave.

“Have fun, my Tina-Bina!” Linda called, throwing Tina a kiss with an exaggerated wave of her arm.

“Your date better not be too ‘hot,’ or…just have fun, but a normal date, please!” Bob called out, quickly followed by, “If you need anything, please call and—and I will come get you! Cause I’m your dad! You sure you don’t want me to drive you?”

“Ugh, no, Dad! I’m fine!”

“Okay, bye! Bye, sweetie!” Linda said.

Tina closed the door as quickly as she could, hoping to drown out Gene’s exaggerated cat-calls and whistles and her mother’s repetitions of, “My lil’ Tina!”

She strolled as quickly as she could without breaking a sweat (after all, she wanted to look as dazzling as possible for Jimmy Jr.) and was at the Wharf in under ten minutes. She was early, so she took a seat on a nearby bench and stared down at her worn Converse high-tops.

“Tina, girl, look at you!” a familiar voice drawled nearby.

She glanced up sharply. “Zeke,” is all she said in response with her usual flat tone.

He approached, his hands in his pockets. He looked oddly…nervous. “So I guess you agreed to hang out with Jay-Ju tonight too, huh?”

Tina’s heart sank into the balls of her feet. Damnit. Damn that stupid, handsome boy. Of _course_ this wasn’t a date. This was just another night with buddies, and she was finally starting to realize she was no longer the girlfriend (if she ever was at all). She was a girl (space) friend. Just another pal, like Zeke. She’d admittedly grown fond of the hulking, Southern-talking jock, but she was really hoping that maybe, just maybe, tonight would be an actual bona fide date.

There was something bubbling up inside her stomach that she was really afraid would cause her to vomit if she didn’t let it out.

“That damn Jimmy Jr.,” she said, her hands balling into fists.

“Oh-kay…” Zeke said, unsure what she meant. His eyes studied her with a great deal of uncertainty.

“It’s just—I thought tonight would just be the two of us. Just me and him, not with you tagging along!” She paused for a breath, stumbling over her words as the long withheld frustrations started to boil over. “I mean—not that it’s bad that you’re here. I don’t mind. In fact—well, it’s kind of nice. It just means that _yet again_ I’ve fallen for it. He—he sucked me in with his stupidly handsome face and body and his dance moves, and here I am just following after him like a—like a stupid, love-struck teen!”

She turned on her heel and stalked across the street.

“Where, uh…Tina, _watch it_!”

She turned toward his voice and realized a car was coming straight for her. She froze, the absolute image of a deer in headlights. A thick hand grabbed at her upper arm and pulled her back to the sidewalk as the car swerved around them.

The driver slammed on his brakes and rolled down his window. “Oh, my God, are you okay?” he said.

Suddenly, Zeke was shouting. “You gonna keep your eyes on the road or on your phone?”

The driver balked for a moment, his face falling into an angry expression (ironically lit by the screen of his smart phone). “Yeah, well tell your girlfriend not to jaywalk in the middle of the night!” With a squeal of the tires, he was gone.

Tina’s breathing slowed to normal, and she found herself staring at Zeke, who was standing awfully close with his hand still on her arm.

“Zeke? Tina, what happened?” Jimmy Jr. ran up to them, Tammy following behind at a slower rate (and with a great deal of whining about her pumps getting ruined).

At the sight of him, something in Tina snapped.

“Ugh, I’m done!” she cried out. “I’m through with this!”

"Oh my God, Tina!" Tammy said. "Why do you have to be such a buzz kill?"

Jimmy ignored Tammy's comment and just gave Tina a quizzical look before turning to stare at Zeke. “What did you do, Zeke?”

“What did _I_ do?” He said, but before he could continue, Tina broke in.

“He did nothing.” She stepped away from him, but he seemed reluctant to let go of her. “Well, he actually saved my life—but that’s beside the point. I’m done waiting on you to wake up and realize that I want to be with you, Jimmy Jr. I’m done with your stupid mind games that keep me coming back to you expecting anything to be different. Whatever we had, if we had anything, is over.”

She turned her attention to Zeke. “And by the way, thank you. We’re even now.”

With that, she turned on her heel (looked both ways) and crossed the street. She pulled out her emergency phone and hit the speed dial button.

"Belcher residence?" her dad's voice droned out.

In the background she could hear Louise screaming, "Not during 'Hawk and Chick!' The rules are in place for a reason!!"

"Louise," he said, away from the phone.

"Dad?" Tina said, and then she burst into tears.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Poor Tina. We knew it wasn't going to end well.
> 
> What will happen now? Tune in next time to witness Jimmy Jr. continue to be a turd.


	4. Bad Things are Bad

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jimmy Jr. has a thick head, and Tina just wants some answers - in more ways than one.

Despite having explained it in about four different ways, Jimmy Jr. didn’t seem to get why Tina was mad. Zeke thought that after Tina gave them all the silent treatment, Jimmy would let it go. But he _kept—bringing—it—up_.

“I just don't get why she won’t talk to me.”

“Jay-Ju, come on, man.” Zeke sighed.

He caught sight of Tina from the corner of his eye and watched her for a brief moment. She was sitting by herself at a corner table chewing on the tough crust of cafeteria pizza. It was “Healthy Tuesday,” which involved rectangular pieces of pizza, canned corn, and deep fried okra. Add to it that most students doused this meal in ranch dressing, and anyone would be hard pressed to see what part of this was “healthy.”

She glanced up, almost as if she felt his gaze, and swallowed hard. She pulled a book from her purse and began reading as if it was the most enthralling novel in the world.

“I just don’t get why she’s ignoring me,” Jimmy said, for the fourth time since lunch period began.

“Dude, come on.” Zeke’s voice rose slightly in volume. He took a beat to try and calm himself, but he was having trouble. “You’re driving me batty with this nonsense. Do you even like her, man?”

Jimmy’s face burned bright red. “You don’t get it,” he said.

“Well then tell me what’s goin’ on in your head, cause I definitely won’t get it unless you say something.” Zeke picked up his tray and tossed it in the tray return bucket in the back.

He wasn’t an idiot. He knew something had to be going on for Jay-Ju to ignore a dynamite girl like Tina. And why she put up with it for so long before snapping like she did, he had no idea.

He paused, made a decision, and walked to the other side of the cafeteria, leaving a confused Jimmy in his wake.

“Hey girl, whatchu readin’?” Zeke said as he plopped down in the seat across from her.

“Are you here to wheedle information out of me?”

“Am I here to whut?” He said, hoping that playing dumb would help cheer her up.

She rolled her eyes. “What do you want?”

“I wanna say that I’m real sorry. About what happened. Jay-Ju is…well, he’s an idiot who don’t know a good thing when it smacks him in the face.” The tips of Zeke’s ears were burning, and he felt a strong desire to bolt. But he had to say one more thing. “You deserve better, T.”

\--

Eventually, the situation blew over. Jimmy Jr. never apologized, but at least Tammy and Jocelyn had forgotten it enough to bring Tina back into their group. They weren’t the nicest people, but it made high school a little less miserable having someone to talk to, even if they were a bit too self-involved. She missed getting to eat lunch with her siblings. Tammy and Jocelyn were basically just stand-ins, to be honest.

She spent less and less time around the boys, and it seemed like she was avoiding Jimmy and Zeke equally. With Jimmy Jr., she felt justified in her avoidance. He had used her for some unknown reason, and for that, she felt that he didn’t deserve one more minute of her time. It wasn’t as if he showed any signs of missing her or feeling any remorse.

And with Zeke, it just felt weird. There was something else that she couldn't quite put her finger on. So she did what any mature 16-year-old would do and avoided them both like the plague.

“Whatever happened with you and that Jimmy Pesto kid?” Linda had the misfortune to ask at dinner one night.

Louise kicked the table leg and coughed loudly. “Oh, gosh, sorry. I think I almost choked on something. Can you please pass the salt, mother dear?”

Linda didn’t take the hint. “Did you two have a falling out? Young love, ahhh so fickle…”

Before her mother could burst into song (and it looked like she was about to), Tina simply said, “I called it off.”

“Good,” Bob said. At Linda’s withering look he said, “What? I think she was too good for him.”

“ _You_ were just mad that he was the son of that stupid handsome-faced Jimmy Pesto.”

“What? No—no, I wasn’t— _handsome?_ ”

“Ah, you know what I mean.” Linda said. “It was romantic, and forbidden, like Romeo and Juliet!”

“Yuck,” Louise said. “Besides, Tina has a date with the one and only Lenny DeStefano. Rumor has it, he’s going to ask her to Winter Formal.”

This piece of (fake) news was sufficient to distract Linda from bringing up Jimmy Jr. for a while. Tina threw Louise a grateful smile. For all her brash and outspoken ways, Louise had a tender spot for her siblings, though she would die before admitting it.

“That dreamboat, DeStefano?” Gene added, fanning his face with a paper napkin.

Bob rolled his eyes when Gene fell completely to the floor in a pretend faint.

After dinner, Louise called a sibling meeting in her room. She shut the door and brought them in for a close huddle.

“Tina, how many of those composition notebook things have friendfiction in them about Jimmy Jr.?”

Tina flushed, realizing Louise must have read some of them. “Umm…not a lot…”

“Tina, sweetie, come on,” she cocked her head to one side, her tone one of caustic disbelief.

“Okay, fine. Some of them. Most of them…all of them.”

Louise heaved a sigh. “I thought you’d say that.” She lifted a corner of her mattress and darted her small hand beneath it, pulling back a matchbox.

“Time to put these stories to rest, don’t you think?”

Tina opened her mouth to counter this argument, but she simply said, “Let’s do it.”

“Yay, fire!” Gene said, then whispered it again when his sisters shushed him.

“Uh, hey mom? We’re gonna take out the trash.”

Bob narrowed his eyes at Gene. “You are willingly _offering_ to do this?”

“Yep!” Tina said. “We wanted to show how much we appreciate you guys, so we’re gonna—gather up all the trash and then go outside and take it to the dumpster. Out back. Right now.”

Louise elbowed her older sister and said, “Okay, we’ll be back. We love you guys! You’re the best!”

“Do you think they bought it?” Gene was heard whispering loudly at the bottom of the staircase, to which Louise shushed him.

And with that, all three Belcher siblings disappeared out the front door.

Linda set her glass of wine down on the table. “They didn’t have any trash bags with them, did they?”

“Nope,” Bob said, returning his gaze to the TV.

“We’ll have to go check on them, won’t we?”

“Yep.”

Linda downed her glass of wine and poured herself another. “Alright, I’m ready.”

Wine glass in hand, she led the way downstairs.

They found their children—and Rudy—standing around a small fire in the back alley.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There wasn't as much Zeke in this one, but it was getting a bit too melodramatic for my taste. I thought some light-hearted Belcher family fun might help the mood.


	5. Nice Things are Nice

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tina is told a rumor, that may or may not be true, but it still rocks her world. Rudy spends some more time with the Belchers.

“Oooooh, my God,” Bob said, ducking into the restaurant kitchen to grab the fire extinguisher.

He came back expecting Linda to have broken up the party, but instead she was sipping her wine and listening to the hushed conversation.

“Lin, what—” he began, but she put a hand on his arm.

“Listen,” she said.

Rudy was talking in his quiet, raspy voice. “We think he’s gay.”

“Rudy! You promised you wouldn't say anything!” Louise punched his shoulder.

“I thought it would make her feel better to know,” he insisted, standing his ground against Louise’s glare.

“So…that kind of explains a few things.” Gene said.

“It doesn’t excuse the fact that he treated Tina like crap,” Louise said, crossing her arms. “And you _cannot_ say anything, because we’re literally just spitballing here.”

“Tina?” Rudy asked, hazarding a glance at the taller of the group, who had been silent for quite some time.

After a pause, she simply said, “Oh.”

“So…can we burn the rest of these?” Louise asked, a wicked glint in her eyes.

Tina nodded. Just as Louise was about to toss the rest into the small fire, Tina snatched at one of the books—“Not this one,” she said—and clutched it to her chest.

Bob and Linda made their presence known in time to stop Louise from creating a bigger fire with more fuel.

“Alright, kids. Party’s over,” Linda said.

“Aw, crap,” Louise said.

Bob walked over and snatched the rest of the journals from his youngest daughter’s hands.

“Come on, just one more!”

“Remember what happened last time we tried to barbecue in the alley? We’ll get in trouble. Oh, and it’s also dangerous. And you all came out here without our permission—and what is Rudy doing here?”

“Hey, Mr. and Mrs. Belcher,” Rudy said. “Just happy to be part of things.”

“You can call me Bob, Rudy. We’ve been over this.”

Bob gave one of his trademark long-suffering sighs and told the kids to return inside, promising to drop Rudy off at his house as soon as the flames were sufficiently doused.

“So we’re not in trouble?” Louise asked.

“Oh, no you’re all grounded,” Linda said.

“Dangit!”

Linda gave each Belcher kid a kiss and sent all three of them to bed early.

Louise stormed into her room and tossed a few stuffed animals around for added effect. She heard the theme song to “Jeopardy” playing on the TV, and she immediately ran to the door and pounded on it.

“This is cruel and unusual punishment, mother, and you know it!”

Gene joined in on the protests when the smell of popcorn permeated the small house.

“Deal with it, kiddos!” Linda said. “You can come out to use the bathroom, but otherwise, I will see you in the morning. I love you, my little fire bugs!” She cackled to herself, no doubt loosened up with her second glass of wine.

Louise flopped down on her bed and grabbed a nearby Kuchi Kopi graphic novel. She had read this one about a thousand times, but she had nothing better to do.

Bob was heard returning after a while, and a smaller set of footsteps traipsed along behind him.

“Wha? What happened, why is Rudy still here? Bobby, did you forget he was in the car again?”

“No, Lin. Rudy’s…uh, hey, buddy, why don’t you go hang out with Louise?”

Rudy was heard to sigh. “Sure thing.”

He knocked on Louise’s door, to which she replied, “I’m not here!”

Rudy just opened the door and let himself in anyway.

Louise met him with a glare. “And what if I had been changing into my pajamas?”

“Oh!” Rudy’s face reddened and paled at alternate intervals, and Louise was afraid she was causing him palpitations.

“Rudes, stay with me! I was only joking.” She walked over and patted his shoulder, which seemed to bring him back to normal. He had a small duffel bag over his shoulder.

“Oh, man. Did your dad do that thing where he left a note for you to find in the morning?”

Rudy nodded his head.

“That sucks, Rudy.”

He nodded again.

Louise sighed and pulled a sleeping bag and pillow from her closet. “I guess you’ll be needing this again.”

“I’m kind of glad I snuck out tonight. It was sort of dangerous and exciting—and it’s always really depressing coming down for breakfast to find him gone.”

Louise grunted, annoyed. “I don’t get how he thinks that’s okay.”

Rudy wordlessly unrolled the sleeping bag and sat down on it with his duffel bag.

Linda tapped on the door and stuck her head in. “Hiiii kiddos,” her words were elongated and tinged with an extra hint of sweetness (for Rudy’s sake). “You gonna be okay in here? You wanna sleep on the couch after Bob and I go to bed?”

Rudy shook his head. “Thanks, Mrs. Belcher.”

“Oh, tish. Call me Linda, honey.” She brought a blanket from behind her back and set it on the floor.

“Louise,” she turned her attention to her youngest daughter. “If this happens again, we’re throwing out the privacy rule and I’m gonna have to start searching your room for more explosives and fire starters.”

“Mom, please. That rule is keeping me sane. This is my _sanctuary_ , my _inner sanctum_!” Louise protested.

Linda put her hands on her hips. “Then any little stowaway matches better mysteriously find their way back to the kitchen junk drawer. Am I understood, miss missy?”

“Yep, absolutely—I mean, no. Of course. Cause…I wouldn’t have anything like that. I’m a little kid.” Louise’s eyes darted guiltily to the edge of her bed and back to her mother’s face.

“Mmm-alright,” Linda said with narrowed eyes. She kissed Louise on the head (despite the verbal protests from her youngest) and even bestowed a kiss on Rudy’s unsuspecting forehead.

“Goodnight, my babies.”

As the door closed, Rudy stared at it with wider-than-usual eyes. “Wow,” he said.

“Yeah, she’s so embarrassing…” Louise said, her cheeks flushed slightly.

“No, she’s awesome. She’s like Rizzo from Grease. She’s ‘tough but tender,’ you know?”

Louise stared at him with horror. “Have you been watching musicals with Gene? _Without_ me?”

Rudy’s eyes danced to the ceiling and back to her face with a clearly guilty expression. “You fell asleep…”

“Ugh, whatever. She’s alright, I guess.” Louise could tell Rudy wanted to say more, but she was getting uncomfortable (as she always did) with this topic.

She _hated_ Rudy’s parents, even though she’d never met them. She hated that her eccentric, at times smothering family was something to be desired rather than scoffed at.

The “Jeopardy” theme came on again, and she listened to Alex Trebek announce the night’s contestants.

“Oh, man, it’s a rerun with Ken Jennings!”

“Who?” Rudy said.

“You’re in for a treat, my friend.” She considered for a moment. “And I think I might have just found our loophole…”

Louise jumped up from the bed and rapped on her door.

“Hey, Dad? Rudy and I were just wondering if you knew we kissed recently, and now we’re getting all these crazy feelings—”

“ _What are you doing_??” Rudy rasped behind her.

“Um, what?” Bob said. “No. No-no-no, we are not having this discussion tonight. It is too late, and I am too tired.” He was heard to stand up, grunting slightly.

The door suddenly burst open.

“We’re keeping this open tonight.” He pointed a finger at Rudy’s terrified and flushed face. “No funny business. No ‘crazy feelings’ of any kind, you read me?”

“Loud and clear,” Louise said.

Rudy could only muster up a pitiful squeak.

“Good,” Bob said, satisfied. He flicked off Louise’s overhead light and returned to the living room.

Louise waited a moment before beckoning to Rudy. He shook his head, and she huffed.

“I was only saying all that for show. Calm down and come up here! I promised it’s worth it.” She patted the bed beside her.

Rudy looked incredibly uncomfortable but complied, keeping a respectable distance between them. After all, this would be the first time he’d sat on a bed with a girl, in her own room. And it just so happened it was the same girl who had inexplicably kissed him on Valentine’s day not that long ago…

“Look at the framed picture over the couch. You can see the TV reflected in it—see?”

He followed her gaze and shook his head, as the corner of the hallway was blocking his view.

“Come on, scoot a little closer,” Louise said.

Rudy complied again, and this time there was very little space between them. He could just make out the face of a white guy in glasses talking to a panel of contestants.

“See that guy in the middle?” She whispered, leaning just a little bit closer to his ear. “That’s Ken Jennings, and he was on for something like 70 games.”

Rudy responded with appropriate enthusiasm, but he was admittedly distracted. He kept thinking back to what Louise said.

“Hey, I was wondering,” he said. “About that kiss…”

Louise met his gaze with alarm, speaking in a frantic whisper. “You promised you would never speak of it!” She almost recognized the irony of her words as soon as she said them.

“Yeah, but—” he pointed towards her parents in the living room.

“That was just to get them to open the door!”

“Oh,” he said. But he couldn’t stop himself. “So why did you kiss—?”

“I _will_ slap you again,” Louise said.

Rudy hazarded a glance in her direction, and unless the dim light was playing tricks on him, her cheeks were as crimson as the pink bunny ears on her head.

Tina blinked and realized she was sitting in bed in her room, but she hadn’t turned on any lights. She had been blind and deaf to all that was around her since the fire. Her head was still spinning with the possibility of Jimmy’s homosexuality. She had so little experience with it that she only gleaned what information she could from “Queer Eye for the Straight Guy” marathons on television. She was thoroughly unprepared to handle this information on a personal level.

But if it were true…maybe Rudy had been right. Maybe it meant that Tina wasn’t unlovable or a waste of space, but just that she wasn’t loved by Jimmy—and for very specific reasons.

She sighed, and her fingers went limp against the notebook she had been clutching to her chest. She had snatched it from Louise on instinct without even really recognizing what it was. Tina turned on her lamp, and upon opening the first page, she realized it was from 6th or 7th grade, when she had been inspired to write something new. She quickly pulled on her pajamas and settled in to reread a story she had nearly forgotten about.

_There once was a young heiress by the name of Tinatha. She was strong, tall, and had the glossiest blonde hair in all the realm. She was engaged to marry James Junior, the son of a wealthy oil tycoon. She thought her life was perfect and that nothing could go wrong…that is, until she met James’ manservant, Zekiel…_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ok, so another chapter with no Zeke, but I promise he will be back and will get more time in the spotlight! I was just enjoying a brief moment with darling Rudy and Louise. (There will be more, I assure you :) )
> 
> ALSO: R.I.P. Alex Trebek (1940-2020). You were a national treasure and you will be missed!


	6. Taffy Butt

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Zeke thinks Tina is cool. Jimmy Jr. has a new best friend.

The next day, Jimmy Jr. and Zeke were walking down the hall, and suddenly Tina stopped in front of them. Both the boys froze. While she had maintained a polite rapport with Zeke over the past month, she had still, at this point, remained steadfast in her plan to never speak to Jimmy Jr. again. But today…

“Hi, Zeke. Jimmy Jr., you’re looking especially good in your skinny jeans today.” She glanced at each boy in turn before stepping around them and departing.

“Wow,” Zeke said.

“Yeah,” Jimmy Jr. agreed.

Later, in Biology class, Zeke felt like a weight had been lifted. Tina talked easily with him, and unless he was crazy (which he might’ve been—maybe it was just wishful thinking), Tina’s eyes didn’t follow Jimmy Jr. around anymore. Well, she might have taken a peek at the back of his skinny jeans once or twice…but that was just Tina’s way.

She even startled him one afternoon by walking with him to class.

“Hey, Zeke,” her voice reached his ears, and he turned to find her standing beside him.

“Damn, T-Bird, you’re sneaky! Didn’t even hear your high tops squeaking on the floor,” he laughed, and again he felt like he was talking too loudly. He couldn’t seem to control it around her.

“Yeah, I’ve been practicing.”

They both fell quiet for a moment.

Zeke mustered up the courage to say, “I’m glad you’re talkin’ to us again.”

From the corner of his eye, he saw her give him a startled glance.

“I mean,” she hesitated. “I probably would have still talked to you.”

“Yeah?” He said, his chest feeling funny and tight.

“Yeah,” she said. “You’re nice to me.”

He met her gaze for a moment. “Anybody’d be stupid not to be, ya know? You’re pretty cool.”

Tina stood up a little taller (and she was getting taller with each year of high school, it seemed), and unless he was mistaken, she even flipped her hair over her shoulder—very much in the style of Tammy.

“Yeah, I _am_ cool,” she said.

Zeke laughed. “Get it, girl!”

\--

Sophomore year came and went, and suddenly, Tina was a Junior, and Gene was at the high school. He hugged her repeatedly during the day, and she endured it only because she was so grateful to have him there. It meant she could let go of her stand-in lunch buddies. Jocelyn and Tammy were only sometimes nice to her, and it was exhausting having to bolster her own confidence while Tammy consistently cut her down with disparaging remarks. Come to think of it, she wasn’t really a friend at all.

“The old gang, back together again!” Gene called out. Several heads turned in the hallway. “Oh, don’t tell Louise I said that…she’s pissed.”

Tina was about to respond when Zeke came around the corner.

“G-man!” he said.

“Z-man!” Gene returned, and they gave each other one of those helicopter/windmill high five things that Tina always wanted to try.

“Whoa,” she said, impressed with their rapport.

“Good to have you here, man,” Zeke said.

“Good to _be_ here.” Gene glanced around. “Where’s your better half?”

“Oh, Jay-Ju? He’s, uh…well, he’s hangin’ out with some new friends this year.”

Like something in a movie, Jimmy Jr. walked by at that exact moment. Lenny DeStefano had his arm around Jimmy’s shoulder, and the two were sharing a set of earbuds. At the sight of Tina, Jimmy quickly pushed Lenny’s arm off of him.

Tina glanced over and saw the forlorn expression that briefly flitted across Zeke’s face. Before she could say anything, though, Gene had piped in with (more or less) what she was going to say.

“Well, screw that guy. You can join our posse, mister,” and he gave Zeke an exaggerated pair of finger guns. “See you at lunch, big guy.” He waved at Tina before ducking into his new homeroom class.

Tina continued to walk to her locker, and Zeke didn’t show any signs of wanting to leave her side just yet. He was oddly quiet.

“Not that you need my permission, but…you can totally join us at lunch.” She flitted through the combination of her locker, missed it, and tried it again.

“Thanks, T.” Zeke said. “We don’t have any classes together this semester anyway, so I gotta find time to drive you nuts any way I can!” His tone was light, but she could tell it was forced.

It made her even angrier at Jimmy Jr. for basically dropping Zeke as a friend. She half wondered if Zeke had said something to Jimmy…maybe defending Tina, or—

She shook her head and had a sudden thought. “You should come by the restaurant some time. Dad would love to see his favorite cooking protégée again.”

“Really?” his face lit up, and Tina almost dropped her Algebra textbook when she caught him grinning at her.

“Yeah, it’s cool,” she said. “So, uh, I’ll see you later?” She grabbed the last of her supplies and darted down the hall.

_Keep it together, girl_ , she chided herself. As she walked to her first class, she made a solemn promise to herself that before she got carried away with…well, whatever this was that she was feeling, she would wait till it was clear that it was mutual. She would not spend years pining after someone who didn’t want her. Not again.

Of course, it didn’t mean she couldn’t write some wickedly indulgent Friend Fiction in the meantime…

\--

Louise slumped down at the table and pushed her paper bag just out of arms’ reach.

“This sucks, Rudy.”

“Yeah, I know,” Rudy said, sympathetic as always.

“Why does Gene have to go to stupid high school anyway? He could just stay here. Or he could at least come visit for lunch.” She frowned so dramatically that she felt like she was going to develop wrinkles early. But she didn’t care. Everything sucked.

“You’ll still see them at home,” he reminded.

“It’s not the same!”

“Well, in two years, you’ll be at the high school, too. And you’ll get to eat with Gene again. Tina, well…I guess she’ll be applying for college—”

“You shut your beautiful mouth, Rudes!!” Louise said, jabbing a finger in his face.

“S-sorry,” he said. “I know you hate change.”

Louise buried her head in her arms on the table and let out a loud groan.

“But, uh,” Rudy cleared his throat. “Not all change has to be bad, right?”

“No, it’s bad—it’s all bad!” Her voice came out muffled from under her sweatshirt.

“Well,” he sighed, ending in a slight wheeze. “You’ve still got me. I may not be able to keep up with you, but I’ve got a whole lot of heart and sass!”

Louise peeked at him between her elbow and the rim of her bunny ear hat. “Alright, alright,” she admitted.

He gave her a small smirk.

“Oh, shut up!” she said, punching him on the arm.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Poor Zeke. At least he'll get to join the Belchers for good now. Also, isn't Rudy adorable? He's one of my favorite characters. 
> 
> Leave some love in the comments!


	7. Lifting Up the Skirt of the Night

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Zeke shows up at the restaurant and kind of asks Tina on a date...but she blows it. The Belchers are growing up.

“What’s up, Belchers?”

Tina was flipping burgers on the grill and almost dropped one on the floor at the sound of that familiar country drawl.

“Is that—Zeke?” Bob turned around from where he was retrieving a customer's order.

“Mr. B, what’s up?”

While Bob exchanged somewhat awkward and overly excited pleasantries (being a little too fond of his memories teaching Home Economics and still trying to convince Zeke that he was a natural cook), Tina tried to reconcile the fact that Zeke was here. At the restaurant. She didn’t actually expect him to take her up on the invitation, but here he was.

“’Doesn’t Get Any Cheddar Than This,’” Zeke said, reading off the burger of the day with a hearty laugh. “You come up with that, Mr. B?”

Bob demurred. “Believe it or not, it was Rudy. He’s a master of puns.”

Tina tried to focus on not burning the patties as her dad stuck his head back in the window and asked for a burger of the day “on the house” for Zeke.

“Aw, come on, you gotta let me pay for your food, Mr. B.”

Bob was insistent. “Think of it as payback for getting to teach you in Home Ec.”

Zeke shrugged. “Alright, then.” He obviously wasn’t one to turn down a free burger.

Tina loaded the plate and passed it over the window to her dad.

“Is that T-Bird on the grill?” Zeke said, peering around Bob into the kitchen.

“Hey,” Tina said lamely, waving her spatula at him.

“Oh, uh, do you wanna take a break?" Bob asked. "I can take over.”

Tina agreed and removed her apron. She found Zeke happily eating his meal and making all kinds of encouraging “Mmm, that’s good” kind of sounds.

She sat beside him at the bar and waited for him to speak around a mouthful of food.

“Wassup, girl?” he said in his usual upbeat greeting. He seemed to be coming around to his old self again. Tina liked it.

“Not much, Z-bird,” and then she balked. “Sorry, that was lame.”

“Nah, I kind of like it,” he said, kindly.

Tina couldn’t help feeling a little weird having Zeke at their restaurant, which was within stones’ throw of his (former?) best friend’s restaurant across the street. What if Jimmy Jr. saw them here together? Would it be awkward?

Zeke didn’t seem to feel the same discomfort. He chatted away cheerily, and she slowly felt herself relaxing.

This was fine. This was totally fine. Zeke could come in here, eat food that she cooked in her family’s restaurant, and chat away like they were old pals. She smiled to herself, liking the idea more and more.

“Hey, I was thinkin’,” he said. “Someone said a recycling barge tipped over, and a ton of glass and stuff has washed up at the wharf. Might be some cool stuff down there. Wanna come check it out later?”

“Uhhhhh,” Tina tried to think of a reason why she shouldn’t, and she was having trouble finding anything.

Zeke scratched the back of his head, clearly misinterpreting her delay for discomfort. “I mean, we can invite the whole gang if you want. Gene, Louise, Rudy. If you want, I don’t know.” He went back to munching on his fries.

“Uh, yeah, that would be fun!” She found herself saying.

“Cool, awesome,” he said, a bit deflated.

Tina felt like she missed an opportunity there. She didn’t know how—or if she should—go back and clarify that _of course_ she’d like to go with him one-on-one. But maybe given the turbulent state of her emotions the past six months, she just needed a pal and not a crush right now.

Later, she found herself barefoot in the sand, sifting through a collection of sea glass and empty Coca Cola bottles. They had spent most of the afternoon walking up and down the beach looting through all the new stuff that had washed on shore. Zeke had been totally right—it was really fun.

Louise and Rudy walked ahead of her, and he let out a small shriek when Louise darted after him with a handful of squishy seaweed.

“You can’t be allergic to it just because it’s gross!” Louise taunted. She only paused in her pursuit to remind him to take a few puffs of his inhaler.

Tina watched their interaction with supreme interest. Even though Louise treated Rudy like everyone else (which he seemed to appreciate), she always made a point to keep tabs on his breathing. She had developed a habit of flicking him on the ear to remind him to use his inhaler when he wasn’t thinking about it.

Right now he was ducking his head side to side to avoid her fingers.

“Take! Your! Inhaler!” she said at intervals.

“You can’t tell me what to do!” Rudy wheezed, being defiant just because he could. “My breath is my cho- _wheeeeeze—_ ” He doubled over and pulled his inhaler out, admitting defeat.

Louise patted him on the back, waited approximately three seconds, and then started chasing him again with the seaweed.

“If that’s how Louise flirts, Rudy’s gonna be in big trouble.”

Tina turned to find Zeke beside her. It was his turn to be sneaky. She hadn’t even heard his feet splashing in the water as he approached.

“Don’t let Louise hear you say that. She’ll probably slap you.”

“No doubt,” Zeke said, brushing his hand across one cheek as if imagining the sting of just such a slap.

“Hey, uh,” she drew his attention back to her.

“Whut?” he said, giving her a half smile.

“Thanks for thinking of this. It’s been really fun.”

“No prob, Tina.”

She stared at him a moment. It was probably the first time he’d said her name without any sort of moniker. It felt…nice.

The moment (if it was, in fact, a moment) was interrupted by a keening wail coming from down the beach.

“I’VE FOUND THE MOTHER LODE!!!” Gene said, running—actually running—towards them.

Zeke and Tina glanced at one another, and she felt like they were back to being just friends again as they laughed and ran to meet Gene halfway.

Gene waited for Louise and Rudy to join them. Rudy was wheezing, and Louise managed to flick his ear when he was vulnerable and incapable of defending himself.

“Ow, come on!” He said with a rasping breath.

“Ha! Inhaler!” Louise said, pointing at him triumphantly.

Once Rudy was breathing as normally as he could, Gene then led them all to the largest pile of bottles and sea glass any of them had ever seen. There was practically every size, shape, and color imaginable. The evening was deemed an incredible success all around.

“Way to go, G-man!” Zeke said, giving Gene one of their signature windmill high fives.

 _Damn, I have_ got _to get me one of those!_ Tina thought to herself.

\--

“No, no, noooohohoho whyyyyy?! My babies are getting old! They’re growing up—oh my God, _we’re_ getting old, Bobby!” Linda sobbed into her pancakes, gripping a college application letter in her hand.

“Lin. Ugh, come on…don’t—don’t cry,” Bob said, only making Linda wail even louder.

Gene’s lip trembled, and then he was wrapping his arms around his mother’s neck and screaming, “Too soon! Oh, cruel world, it’s too soon for them to die!”

“Gene,” Bob said in his usual monotone warning.

“Give them space, Dad,” Louise offered, around a bite of Peanut Butter Choco Puffs. “By the way, have either of you picked out your grave plots yet? I bet Mort could cut you guys a sweet deal.”

“Louise—” Bob cut in, his tone taking on a harsher edge.

“Grave plots, Bobby! Oh my Gooooooood!” Linda continued having hysterics, aided by Gene’s crying.

“Ooooh, my God,” Bob said, returning to his newspaper with characteristic resignation.

“So, um…can I have the letter?” Tina said, reaching for it across the table and almost knocking over the gravy boat.

“Wha?” Linda said before passing it to her daughter with a muttered apology. “It’s a little snotty, baby…sorry.”

Tina took it between pinched fingers.

“Gross,” Louise said, clearly impressed with the spectacle. But she still eyed the unopened letter warily.

Tina peeled back the lip of the envelope with painstaking concern, and as she unfolded the pages, the table grew eerily quiet. Even Bob was peering over the paper to watch for a reaction.

“I…I got in,” Tina said.

“OH! I’m so proud of you!” Linda was crying again. “My biggest baby is gonna go off to college and get educated, and I am—OH! My God, Bobby! She’ll be a Rowan University alumni. She’ll be _Rowan into education, Rowan into our hearts, and out of our home, and—_ ”

“Lin!” Bob cut into Linda’s spontaneous song, during which Gene tried to run off and fetch his keyboard. “Stop, Gene, no.”

“So, are you gonna live on campus?” Louise asked, studying her cereal with more intensity than normal.

Tina was quiet for a moment. “Yeah, with a full scholarship, I’ll be in the dorms.”

“Oh,” Louise said. She gave a suspicious sniffle and said, “Not that it matters. I call dibs on your room!” but it wasn’t with her usual spitfire. Even Bob knew it would hit Louise hard to see her oldest sister leave.

And even Bob had to admit it made him feel ancient that Tina was going to be a college student soon.

_Oh my God, Linda’s right_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So since Bob's Burgers is supposedly set somewhere in New Jersey, I picked an actual school that really exists. Not that it really matters, because these Belcher kids are growing up way too fast. 
> 
> Stay tuned!


	8. 99 Red Balloons

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Zeke misses saying goodbye to Tina by an hour. Louise makes a drastic decision.

Senior year flew by in a rush, and suddenly Tina had already gone to prom (with her friends and no date—a rule she had insisted upon, wanting to “start fresh” at college with no attachments), and graduation was the week prior.

She had packed her final suitcase, and Louise was sitting on the bed, sifting through the old composition notebooks Tina was boxing away to put in the crawl-space attic.

“I can’t believe you kept these,” Louise said. “That would have been a great bonfire.”

“Yeah, I’m glad I did, though. Everything in those books is still part of me, even if they’re terrible stories.”

Louise grunted, but it was clear, as she threw the book back in its box, that she was unhappy.

“Do you _have_ to move away?” she said, tugging on the ratty drawstring of her bunny ears hat, which was looking an alarming shade of gray instead of pink. The years (and Louise) had not been kind to it.

“It’s an almost three hour drive. I’ll be close enough to visit, but not commute.” Tina sat on the bed beside Louise.

Her younger sister suddenly reached over and hugged Tina around the waist.

“I know,” Tina said. “I’m gonna miss you, too.”

Louise sniffled. “Shut up.”

Tina smiled, knowing that was as heartfelt as Louise ever got, and she appreciated it nonetheless.

The car was packed, and suddenly it felt all too real. She was going to drive her parents’ old station wagon 165 miles to live in a strange city among strangers. She would leave the wharf and her family’s restaurant behind to start an entirely new adventure. While Linda was openly sobbing, she only saw her father get emotional once, just after hugging her. Gene was crying, too, and Louise was stolidly avoiding eye contact.

She waved to them as long as she could see them out of her rearview mirror, and suddenly they were gone.

Tina put the cassette tape converter in the radio, plugged in her Moon player (the only off-brand iPod she could afford) and selected the perfect hype song.

As Goldfinger’s “99 Red Balloons” blared through the fuzzy car speakers, it gave her the final boost she needed to leave everything familiar behind and look ahead to something new.

\--

Zeke parked his rental car out front and stepped up to the restaurant, only to find the place locked up. He took a gamble and knocked on the front door of the home instead.

Eventually, Linda answered, her eyes a bit red and puffy behind her glasses.

“Oh, hiiiii Zeke!” she greeted him with a hug. He loved that they always welcomed him with open arms.

“Hey, Mrs. B. Is Tina home?”

“Aww, sweetie, no. She left an hour ago.” Linda stepped back and swatted his arm gently. “And it’s Linda to you, Mister!”

He gave her a short laugh. “Just wanted to drop by and wish her good luck. I know she’s gonna kill it at college.”

“Is that Zeke?” Bob’s voice could be heard from up the stairs.

“Yeah, come down Bobby! He came to say bye to Tina,” her eyes filled with fresh tears. “Oh, my God, sorry Zeke. Emotional day. Whew!”

Bob joined them at the bottom of the stairs and shook Zeke’s hand. “You heading out, too?” He glanced at the rental car on the curb and saw the rear seat packed with luggage.

“Yeah, headed to Stockton.”

“Aww, yay, college!” Linda said, but her voice was a bit watery. “Where’s your parents, sweetie?”

Zeke scratched the back of his head, desperately missing the mullet that used to be there. It had been a style of comfort rather than a statement. But he guessed he had outgrown it, and he decided to shave it last summer.

He cleared his throat and shuffled a bit uncomfortably. “Well, dad’s on that couples’ cruise with his new lady friend. Already saw Granny at the home.”

“Aw,” Linda said, her eyes filling with tears again. “So you came here to say goodbye? That’s so sweeeeeeet!”

Bob cleared his throat, clearly uncomfortable.

“Is that the Z-Man I hear??” Gene cried out from inside the house. He bounded down the stairs, pushed past his parents and locked Zeke in a bear hug. “Gonna miss you, man.”

“What is everyone yelling about?” screeched Louise, and soon she was downstairs.

The tips of Zeke’s ears were burning. He hadn’t expected this big of an audience. In fact, he had just been planning on saying goodbye to Tina, but he guessed this was just as good. Well, almost as good.

“Oh. Hi Zeke,” Louise said, catching sight of her mother’s barely held back tears. “Uuuuugh are we gonna have another emotional breakdown?” Louise tugged at her hat. “It’s just college!”

Zeke laughed. “I, uh, really appreciate y’all coming down to talk to me. Just wanted to wish Tina luck—like I said, uh, yeah. So if you could tell her, that would great.” He cleared his throat and pointed at Gene. “Gonna miss you most of all, man!”

Gene and Zeke did their signature high five, and Louise rolled her eyes, which were suspiciously lined with tears. He waved at them and hopped in his car, disappearing around the corner just like Tina had only an hour prior.

“He’s got it bad for Tina, doesn’t he?” Bob said.

“Poor kid,” Louise scoffed, returning indoors.

“Yeah,” Linda said. “Aaaah young love. _Young loooove, so young and in loooooove!_ ” Linda started singing.

“Lin, stop.”

\--

Louise heard a tap against something in the other room. She sat bolt upright in her bed, newly situated in Tina’s old room. She had been lying there staring at one of Tina’s old horse posters that she decided to unroll and put back on the wall. No one had to know. Maybe she’d move it to the back of the closet door so no one would see it immediately.

She heard several more taps and had a sick realization. She moved down the hall and into her old room, hoping her parents were too engrossed in the TV to notice. The tap sounded again at the window, and she ran to open it.

“Rudy!” She called out in a hoarse whisper. “I’m not in this room anymore, I took Tina’s.”

“Oh. Oops!” Rudy said, dropping the pebbles he had been chucking at the window.

“Just—ugh—meet me at the bottom of the fire escape.”

“You got it!” He said with his usual, annoying chipper attitude.

She shushed him, shut the window, and returned to her new room.

“You settling in okay, sweetie?” Linda called out from the living room.

“Uh—yeah,” Louise called back, one foot hanging in midair out the open window.

She was thankful her parents withheld their end of the new bargain and didn’t barge in when they wanted. She was almost 15 years old, after all.

“I’m gonna take a quick nap, so don’t wait for me at dinner.”

“Alright, my baby,” Linda said, her voice honey-sweet with sympathy.

If it meant her mom thought Louise was going to mope around in her room and cry, so be it. So long as they didn’t find out she had snuck out.

Louise navigated the fire escape with only one or two slips (gosh, how long had it been since she climbed this thing?), and she landed a bit harder than expected on the lid of the dumpster, rolling off with more speed, too. She lost her footing when she landed on the concrete, but Rudy was there to catch her. He was frustratingly reliable.

“You okay?” He asked, his hands holding onto her upper arms.

Of _course_ he was concerned. “Yeah, don’t fuss!” She pushed him away gently.

He smiled. Thankfully, he was used to this kind of response.

“So what was so important that we needed to sneak out tonight? Gotta say, it’s been a while. My excuses are getting rusty.”

“What did you tell the old man tonight?”

Rudy snorted. “I told him I had a late study group meeting for Trigonometry.”

“Ha! He obviously has no idea you’re a math genius.”

He glanced at her sideways. “You think I’m a genius?”

She rolled her eyes. “Says the guy who has basically been my math tutor for the almost six years of our friendship?”

“Yes, I guess it’s a _sine_ of genius.” He waited, but Louise said nothing. “Get it? Like…sine, cosine? The ratios in trigonometry?”

Louise groaned.

“Don’t worry, I won’t go off on a _tangent_ about it.”

“God, Rudy!” She shoved him lightly, hiding a smirk.

She led the way to the beach and started gathering some dry twigs and leaves along the way. Rudy wordlessly chipped in, handing them to her to place in the satchel slung over her shoulder.

Once they had enough, she then led them to an open area of the beach. The lights of the Wharf were far away, and the only source of light was a partially full moon. Rudy was probably confused, but he said nothing—just like his normal, supportive, helpful self. Sometimes his kindness made her want to scream at him.

Louise started piling the sticks and leaves in the formation that Tina once taught her (thanks Thundergirls) in order to start a fire. Again, no complaints from Rudy, just assistance.

She pulled out a box of matches and lit one, watching the sun-dried leaves and brush catch fire almost immediately.

“So…this is nice,” Rudy said at last. “Kind of romantic,” he wiggled his eyebrows at her.

“Ugh, don’t make me puke,” she said, fighting down the blush that crept up to her cheeks. She wondered if she was going to be able to do this after all. There was a very real danger of her chickening out.

She took a deep breath, leaning forward and staring into the growing flames. “I brought you out here for a reason, because…I wanted to share something with you.”

“Okay,” Rudy said, leaning forward so their shoulders were touching.

“Um, so…don’t you dare laugh.” She gave him a warning look before yanking the rabbit ears hat from her head.

Rudy audibly gasped. Louise twisted the hat in her hands before tossing it on the flames.

“Are you sure, Louise?” Rudy said, staring in horror as the faded fabric began to darken and catch flame.

“A little too late to take it back, isn’t it?” Louise wished her voice didn’t sound so thin and unsure.

“Wow,” he said.

“Yeah,” she replied.

“No, I mean…wow, Louise. Of all the people, even your siblings, you chose to share this with _me_.”

Louise met his gaze and frowned. “So?”

“So—doesn’t that mean something?”

She glared at him. “Did you take one too many allergy pills tonight? You’re loopy.”

“I’m 100%, stone-cold sober. Well, okay…yeah, I did take an extra antihistamine, but that’s not the point!”

“What _is_ your point, Rudy?”

“I know you’re really upset that Tina left, and that there’s a lot of change happening with us about to start high school, but I have to say something.”

She scoffed. “Don’t wear yourself out,” and lifted a hand to flick his ear, but he swatted her away.

“No, I’m fine. Okay, maybe just one puff,” he paused, took a hit from his inhaler, and then turned to face her.

“Louise, I’ve liked you forever. Even before the Valentine’s-day-kiss-that-shall-not-be-mentioned. And I think tonight shows that you might like me, too.”

He was gazing at her intently. The light of the fire softened his more awkward features—his large ears, strong nose, and slightly receding chin. Louise opened her mouth to speak but found herself grabbing the front of his shirt and pulling him in for a kiss.

She pulled back. “You tell _anyone_ about this, and I will end you.”

Rudy let out a soft chuckle, his breath touching the side of her face. “It’s gonna be a little hard to hide the fact that you got rid of your signature ears—”

“No, I mean _this,_ ” she said, tugging at his shirt.

“Oh. Us?” He said, his dumb, stupid, handsome face filled with sudden hope.

She nodded, feeling something warm and unfamiliar filling her chest. “Just—I want to be able to tell people in my own time, you know?”

“Sure, of course. Anything.”

Louise stared at him, annoyed at the butterflies in her stomach as he bridged the gap and brought their lips together again. He was tentative at first, but slowly, his hands trailed up her arm and into her hair.

“Is—is that okay?” Rudy asked, pausing.

“Yep,” she said, suddenly impatient with talking and wanting to kiss him again. _Stupid, traitorous heart. You’re a wimp._

But she ignored this and put her hands on the back of his neck, drawing him toward her again. His hand explored her hair which, freed of its hat, hadn’t been touched by another person in years.

And Louise, stubborn girl that she was, thought it probably meant nothing that she gifted this privilege to Regular Sized Rudy and no one else.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ok, so we're skipping ahead in age here. Goldfinger's "99 Red Balloons" exists and it is amazing, but the Moon player is all my own creation. 
> 
> Hey, and while you're here, why not throw some kudos or comments my way? I live for the feedback, y'all. <3


	9. Twinkly Lights

Tina was settling in just fine at college. It wasn’t too difficult to make friends. She was initially embarrassed by her thrift store clothes and old, beat up car, but apparently that was _hipster_ and it was actually _cool_.

The first week, she had trouble not thinking about her family and how much she missed them. Gene let it slip that Zeke actually dropped by to say goodbye to her that day she left, and this made her even sadder. College was such a huge deal for both of them—they had had to work extra hard to maintain good grades and, for him, good athletic standing in order to get scholarships. Neither of their families had much money. As good a friend as he had been the past few years, she was sad she didn’t at least get to say goodbye.

She had plied Gene for more information about where Zeke went off to college, but he was an unreliable narrator.

“Did you at least get a cell number or something?”

“Yeaaaaah, about that…no,” Gene had said.

Tina sighed, staring down at her closed laptop with distaste. She had yet another essay due tomorrow, but all she wanted was to be home, smelling the familiar scents of her dad’s cooking.

More and more weeks passed, and suddenly it was almost time for midterms. She wished she had been able to visit sooner, but it might have to wait till Christmas break. Even though she was less than 2 hours away, all her free time had been sapped by the part-time job she had in the University Center at the cafeteria. They hired her pretty much on the spot when they learned she had grown up working at her dad’s restaurant. So all her free time was either spent doing homework or working. There were many expenses the scholarships weren’t able to cover, such as meal plans and parking passes—which were shockingly steep.

Gene, Louise, and Linda had stolen away one Saturday morning to visit, but other than that, she hadn’t seen her family since before she left. She had almost weekly calls with them, but it just wasn’t the same. She was exhausted.

Erica and Laurie, her two friends she’d made this semester who were in the same English department, suggested they “blow off some steam” at a local frat party for a pre-midterm bender. Tina knew immediately this was not her scene.

“I remember a wide-eyed, naïve Tina telling us that she came here to start fresh, to meet people,” Erica argued. “Well, girl, where else will you meet people except at a party?”

Damn. She could be a lawyer with that logic. Tina had not met a single guy (except James, who was gay and perhaps her favorite friend on campus), and she was now too tired and busy to even think about starting anything new. But she had, arguably, been putting it off.

“Come onnnnn, Tina!” Laurie said, tugging on Tina’s sleeve. “It’s fancy dress party. It’ll be fun!”

Tina groaned.

“And I have a dress you can borrow,” Erica said, hoping to dispel any potential arguments.

“Ugh, fine. I’ll go.”

Erica and Laurie clapped their hands. If Gene were here, he would have delighted in the makeovers and fashion shows that followed. She tried to push that thought aside, though. No use crying and causing her mascara to run ten minutes before the party.

The moment they stepped foot onto the pavement outside the luxurious fraternity house, Tina instantly felt out of place. She had squeezed into a tight, glittery dress that fell off the shoulder. She was wearing low heels that didn’t quite match (it was all she owned, and her friends decided no one would be looking at her feet anyway). They had convinced her to pull her hair back and up into an unusual bun-type thing she’d never tried. She was adamant about her glasses, however.

Feeling entirely unlike her usual self and with two friends she’d only known for three months, Tina took a step inside the house.

“Ugh,” she groaned under her breath. “This was a mistake.”

“Come on, it’ll be fun!” Laurie said, taking Tina’s hand and pulling her through a crowded hallway and into the back kitchen.

There, a young guy with perfectly styled hair and an immaculate button-up and jeans offered all three of them drinks in Red Solo cups. Tina smelled the concoction and wrinkled her nose. She had smelled enough of her mom’s wine breath to know the punch was spiked.

She pretended to sip the concoction and hoped there would be a potted plant somewhere she could dump the contents, like in the movies. Tina had no desire to have her first drink here, surrounded by strangers and two acquaintances at best.

Laurie insisted they dance. Tina walked with them into the “dance floor”—a parlor that had been converted into a dance space with flashing lights, a disco ball, and a DJ with three loudspeakers. She stood on the sidelines and refused to budge, pretending to nurse her drink and simply watching her two friends have fun.

Two cute-ish guys tried to ask her to dance, but Tina just shook her head and slid further back into the crowd so she was pressed flat against a nearby wall. She even found a potted plant and disposed of her drink in the bottom of the vase. Young Tina would be ashamed at this display, but she was College Tina now. She didn’t want to dance with any of these people. She just wanted to go home where she could be plain old Tina.

The word 'home' drew up a painful reminder of the warm restaurant that awaited her just a short two-hour drive away. What if she just left her friends here and drove through the night? She could make it there in time to—

“Damn, girl.” A familiar voice sounded at her ear.

She recoiled at first at the proximity of the voice, but when she turned, her eyes stared disbelieving at the figure in front of her.

\--

He almost didn’t recognize her if it hadn’t been for her thick, black-rimmed glasses. He made his way painstakingly through the crowd, and suddenly there she was, looking as out of place as he felt.

Zeke had been thinking about her off and on around his crazy school schedule, and now she was standing there staring at him as if he had two heads.

Then, just as suddenly, she had her arms wrapped around him. It took only a millisecond before he returned the embrace. She stepped back suddenly, seeming self-conscious.

“You alright?” he asked.

“What?” she said, leaning closer.

“YOU ALRIGHT?”

“WHAT?”

Zeke rolled his eyes, took her hand and led them both outside. She didn’t protest, so he guessed that was a good sign.

“There, that’s better,” he said, as soon as they shut the front door behind them.

“Oh, hang on,” she said, removing her shoes with her free hand.

She dropped down an inch or so, and they were eye-level again. She must have grown again since high school, and…he liked it.

“Hi,” he said, lamely.

“Hi,” she said back, her face a bit flushed—but that could have been from the oppressive heat inside the house.

“So, uh,” Tina said haltingly. “You go to this school, too?”

“Nah, I’m at Stockton.”

“Isn’t that just an hour away? That’s crazy, we could have—hung out or something,” Tina finished with a mumble.

“We’re hangin’ out now,” Zeke said, swinging their interlocked hands between them.

“Oh,” Tina looked down, startled to realize they were still holding hands. “Yeah, I guess we are.”

“Do you wanna take a walk or somethin’?”

“Sure,” she said, “just nowhere I could step on something sharp.” She held up her shoes with a half smile, embarrassed.

“Roger that,” he said, leading them off the porch and away from the loud, pulsating music. She hadn’t let go of his hand, and he had no intentions of doing so either.

“Do you go to a lot of parties?” she said, keeping her eyes trained on the sidewalk in front of her.

He sighed. “Sometimes.”

“Are they all like this?”

He laughed and shook his head. “Pretty much. I’m not a big fan, are you?”

She shook her head vehemently. “This was my first one.”

Tina’s phone buzzed in her purse, and she had to pull her hand away to answer. Zeke stopped walking and waited beside her.

“Hey. I can barely hear you—what—no, I found a friend from high school. Yeah, the guy you saw me—yeah. Okay. Um, just text me. I said TEXT ME! Ugh,” Tina hung up the phone and pocketed it.

“Those your friends?”

“Eh, kind of,” Tina said. “They’re nice, but I don’t think we have that much in common. What about you, where are your friends?”

“Inside somewhere,” he laughed. “Not sure they’re that great, either. I, uh, didn’t wanna come tonight. They kind of egged me on until I said yes. They can be kind of mean.”

Tina grunted, and he saw that she was frowning.

He figured instead of pussy-footing around, he’d just come right out and ask, “Whatcha thinkin’ about, T-Bird?”

She gave him a surprised smile at the use of her old nickname, but her face sobered again as she spoke. “Seems to me you haven’t had the best luck with friends.”

“How’s that?”

“Well, take Jimmy Jr. for instance.”

Zeke pocketed his hands, a nervous habit. He hadn’t expected to see Tina tonight, and he most certainly didn’t expect them to start talking about Jay-Ju.

“He kind of dropped you after sophomore year, right?” she asked, pausing to study him fully in a nearby streetlamp.

He met her gaze warily. “Yeah, well…there’s kind of a reason for that.”

Tina stared at him in a way that made his skin itch. She had a way of looking at a body so directly that it felt like she was seeing your thoughts.

He shuffled his feet. “I _might_ have ripped him a new one for how he treated you.”

She was visibly stunned. “Did you hit him?”

He laughed. “No, but I wanted to. I just—he led you on for years, and you had every right to be angry. I’m sad to say he didn’t see it that way. So we argued and I told him I was done.”

Tina resumed her pace, though it was slow and deliberate. “I see,” was all she said.

He scratched the back of his head. “You, uh, mad at me for doin’ that?”

“What? Why would I be mad?”

Zeke shrugged, unable to voice aloud all the thoughts that plagued him after that incident. He felt guilty for never telling her till now the reason why he and Jimmy’s friendship fizzled.

“You defended my honor. That was…awfully gallant of you.”

Zeke guffawed, in his deep-throated, belly-laugh kind of way. “You make me sound like a knight or somethin.’ I was just tryin’ to be a good friend.”

“You were a good friend— _are_ a good friend.” Tina insisted. For emphasis, she reached over and put her arm in his.

This put a bit of extra pep in his step, so to speak. He felt bold enough to say, “You look beautiful tonight.”

She shook her head and gave him an odd little smile. “You always compliment me, you know?”

“Eeeh, I can’t help it. I see something I like, and I’m gonna say something about it.”

Tina turned her face away as they continued their stroll.


	10. Electric Love

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tina and Zeke's walk leads them to the dorms.

Tina glanced around and realized they had made it back to the dorms. She wasn’t ready to say goodbye to him yet, and she sure as hell wasn’t going back to the party.

“Uh, so are you hungry?” she ventured.

“ _Starving_!” he said, putting a hand to his stomach for dramatic effect.

She shuffled in her bare feet. “I think I kind of want to—uh, change into something more comfortable?”

“Yeah, girl,” he said. “That makes total sense. Want me to wait here?”

“No you can come up. If you like. I don’t have a roommate.” Her face burned. She hoped the copious amounts of makeup hid the blush. “I mean—not that—just for me to change clothes. Not for, uh, anything. Other than that.”

Zeke nudged her gently in the ribs with his elbow. “It’s all good.”

She glanced at him, grateful that he didn’t try to make the situation any more awkward. He had a way of setting her at ease.

As they entered the front doors, she couldn’t believe she just asked a boy up to her room. Young Tina would be equal parts thrilled and scandalized. The RA was thankfully not at the desk, or else they probably would have had to endure a walking, talking tour of the dorm for Zeke’s benefit. She pushed him into the elevator and frantically jammed the button for the third floor, thinking she heard Jena or Jeana or whatever her name was returning to her desk.

“You worried we’ll get caught, T?” Zeke was giving her an appraising look, one brow raised.

“No, it’s just the RA is a chatterbox and doesn’t even take a breath to stop talking. We’d be here all night!” She breathed a sigh of relief when the doors opened on her floor.

“She catch you bringing a lot of guys up here?” Zeke grunted, and immediately said, “Sorry. That was uncalled for.”

She led them down the hall, glancing at him over her shoulder. “You’re the—uh—first, actually.”

She missed his expression as she turned to unlock her door. Tina flicked the light switch and was silently thankful she had been procrastinating and decided to clean earlier today. She did snatch a bra from the top of her bed that she’d left out during the pre-party makeover. Tina grabbed her shower basket, a change of clothes, and turned to catch Zeke making himself at home at the desk and chair in the corner beside the vacant bed.

“There’s some snacks in the bottom drawer if you want. I shouldn’t take long.”

He nodded. “Take yer time.”

Tina moved quickly to the community showers. The reflection in the mirror was of a harried stranger. The mascara and eyeliner had smeared beneath her eyes, turning her into some sort of raccoon. Her hair was also stubbornly escaping its neatly piled bun.

“Time to put Party Tina to rest,” she said to herself.

She quickly changed into a pair of jeggings, black t-shirt, and plaid button-up. She wet her hair and brushed it quickly, throwing it into a messy ponytail and hoping it would cooperate enough to stay put. Finally, she washed the gunk off her face. The Tina staring back at her in the mirror was starting to look a little more familiar. With a half-smile at herself, she took a deep breath and returned to her dorm room.

The door creaked open—she secretly hoped to catch him off-guard. He didn’t seem to notice she had returned, so she had a chance to study him. He hadn’t grown much taller since she saw him last. He was still stocky and solidly built. She was glad to see he hadn’t decided to re-grow his mullet, as sad as he was to part with it at the time.

Tina suddenly realized he was staring at her ‘idea board’ on the wall over her bed. It was a corkboard with scraps of paper with her scribbled handwriting that proclaimed any number of random ideas she had for stories. He was studying one in particular and reached out to grab something from the corner.

“Whatcha got there?” Tina said, trying to imitate his drawl.

He looked up, an expression like a startled rabbit flitting across his face. “God, you scared me!” he laughed. His cheeks colored slightly when he showed her what he had found.

In his outstretched hand was a piece of aqua blue sea glass.

“That was a good day, wasn’t it?” he said.

She nodded, stepping closer to take the object from his hand. She seated herself on the bed and studied the precious item.

“If I’m not mistaken, I think you wanted to ask me on a date that day,” she mused, running her thumb across the sea-blasted smoothness of the cloudy glass.

Zeke hovered beside her until she patted the bed.

He seated himself, took an audible breath, and said, “Yeah.”

“I blew it, though.” She said, meeting his gaze. “I got worried and took too long to answer, so…I’m sorry.”

“Tina!” he said suddenly, so loud that it took her completely off guard. “Tina, oh my God!”

“What?!”

“Would you have said yes to me that day?!”

She smiled at him, her eyes still a bit wide and uncertain. “Well, yeah.”

“What a _relief_!” He said, smacking his forehead, his voice growing softer. “I thought _I_ blew it by asking you in the first place.”

She shook her head at him.

He moved closer to her, a goofy grin on his face. “Girl, I have liked you for a long time.”

Tina blinked. “Really?”

“Yeah,” he said plainly. “Even before you kissed me when you thought the world was gonna be invaded by aliens.”

She covered her face and groaned with embarrassment.

“And long before we kissed while playing spin the bottle at Tammy’s house.” He pulled her hands away so he could look into her face. “And probably before you fell in love with Jay-Ju, to be honest.”

Her brow furrowed at that, considering this piece of information. She wanted to shake her head, to run out of the room and tell him it was impossible. That there was no way he could—but his expression was as serious as a heart attack. Which is what she thought she was going to have when he leaned forward and planted a kiss on her lips.

“Whoa,” she said.

He withdrew his hand from on top of hers, and he showed signs of drawing back. But College Tina was having none of it.

She put her hands on either side of his face and kissed him fully on the mouth. He sighed into her lips, and one of his hands reached out to rest on her waist.

“I like you, too.” Tina told him between kisses.

“Well, hot damn, how ‘bout that!” was all he said, deepening the kiss with a chuckle in his throat.

She let her hands explore his face, his neck, the soft skin just under the collar of his undershirt. He kept his hands respectfully on either side of her waist, but he was clearly enjoying her ministrations. He pulled back, slightly out of breath.

“Hooo, buddy. I told you I was gonna getcha, Tina.”

Tina smiled at him, pulling him in for round two. Or three. She had lost count.

Zeke's stomach let out an ungodly growl.

Tina snorted. "I forgot you were hungry."

"So did I," he said, giving her one more lingering kiss before standing up. "What's good to eat around here?"

While he straightened his wrinkled button-up top and tousled hair, Tina said, "There's the Student Union. I think they're open late."

"Good," he said. "It's a date," and put his hand out for Tina to take.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, it was about time right? I hope this chapter and the last were sufficiently fluffy for you in these trying times. I will probably write one more chapter tying up some loose ends and bringing all the Belchers and friends together for the holidays. Stay tuned!
> 
> Oh, and let me know what you think in the comments! <3


	11. The Spirits of Christmas

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tina surprises Zeke. The Belchers take a walk.

Tina tossed her last bag in the back seat of Old Faithful (what the Belchers had nicknamed the station wagon—though Louise had insisted on Hell on Wheels, but was outvoted by a slim margin). She started the car and was immensely grateful the heater still worked in the old thing, because it was _freezing_ outside.

She set up her mp3 player on the “Roadtrip” playlist and drummed her fingers on the steering wheel while she waited for the traffic to move.

Her anticipation only mounted as she drove closer and closer to her destination. She sent her text and waited. Her victim rounded the corner, and suddenly she had launched herself onto their back.

“What the hell?!” Zeke spun in a circle till she dropped to the ground.

He stared at her for a split second, perhaps wondering if he was actually seeing her.

“Tina!” he shouted suddenly, drawing her into his arms. “What the heck are you doin’ here, givin’ me a heart attack?”

“Hmmm—exactly,” Tina said, humming contentedly in his embrace.

She had _missed_ him. Two months had felt like torture. What with her work schedule and his funds being too tight this semester, they had had to settle for video chats, phone calls, and text messages. He had been really down, saying that he might not be able to make it home for Christmas.

Tina was having none of that. With a sigh, she stepped back and fixed him with a purposeful glance.

“Pack your bags. We’re going home.” She held up a hand as he opened his mouth to protest. “And don’t say anything about gas money, or about a rental car, cause I know you can’t afford it right now. We are carpooling, which is arguably the smartest choice.”

His expression was uncertain at first, but soon he was shaking his head in defeat. He grinned and took her outstretched hand in his. “I get to pick the tunes,” he said.

Tina smirked, pretending to deliberate this bargain. “I guess that’s okay.”

“Good,” he said, leading them toward what she assumed was his dorm building.

She had only been able to drive down to visit him once, and that had just involved a sweet little picnic on the campus green. It was a painfully short visit. She hoped to make up for lost time this trip.

He paused once outside. “Damn, it’s not co-ed like yours,” he said, face scrunched in concentration. “Well,” he said with a decisive air. “There’s nothin’ for it. Just gonna have to smuggle you in here.”

She had no time to debate this as he took them sprinting to the back entrance, and they darted up the rear stairs, thankfully encountering no one.

“Sorry—fifth floor—whew!” He said, bending over to catch his breath as they stood outside the entrance to his hallway.

He poked his head around the door, glanced both ways, and then beckoned for her to follow him to his room. He cursed a few times when he fumbled with his keys, even dropping them once. If she weren’t in such a hurry to avoid getting him in trouble, she might have found it amusing. Once they were finally tucked safely into his room, they leaned back against the door, flushed and sweating from the endeavor. She glanced at him to find the biggest, giddiest grin mirrored on his face.

Zeke moved to stand in front of her with his hands splayed on either side of her body. She was trapped with the door behind her—but that secret part of her reserved for her erotic friend fiction wasn’t bothered at all. The other part of her, the more awkward and clumsy part, was worried she was too sweaty and gross to be attractive.

“Hey, girl,” he said, staring at her as if she were the prettiest thing.

“Hey,” she said, her voice cracking a bit after the unanticipated exercise—or perhaps just the delightful proximity of him.

“Well, guess I better get packing,” and then just as suddenly, he turned away and was pulling a suitcase from beneath the bed.

She stared at him dumbfounded for a moment before she narrowed her eyes. He was _teasing_ her. In every sense of the word. He was bent over currently, and she got an uninterrupted view of his butt.

_Nice_ , she thought. Sure, she had grown and matured through the years, but some things about Tina hadn’t changed.

Instead of pouncing on him, as she was sorely tempted to do, she calmly walked over and leaned against his dresser. _Two can play at this game._

She removed her winter coat and hat. She was pleased to see Zeke watching her from the corner of his eye. Tina took her gloves off one finger at a time and slowly unfurled the scarf from around her neck.

“Gosh darnit, Tina!” Zeke said, rushing to her side and wrapping her in his arms.

He kissed her more deeply than she had been kissed before. He sent a trail of them down her neck and across her collarbone. She tried to return the favor, letting her hands tangle into his mess of curly hair. And just as suddenly as it began, a knock at the door put an abrupt end to their shenanigans. Zeke stared at her in horror.

“Hey, man, it’s locked! What gives?” Josh, Zeke’s roommate (whom Tina had not met) knocked again.

“Just a sec, dude. Getting dressed,” Zeke said, with a helpless glance at Tina.

She opened a nearby door, discovered it was a closet, and dove into it.

Tina heard something fabric shuffling on the floor before the door was unlocked and opened.

“Hey, man, sorry about that. Must’ve hit the lock on my way in.” Zeke said. Tina was getting to know him pretty well, and she heard an undercurrent of anxiety in his jovial tone.

“Whatever, man,” Josh said. “I left my phone charger and needed a bag from the—”

The closet door opened, and light flooded the small space.

She saw Zeke’s helpless face behind Josh’s back.

“Hi,” she said, with a wan smile.

“Oh,” Josh said, staring down at Tina, who was tangled up in gym bags and athletic jerseys.

\--

“My Tina-bina is coming hooooome todaaaaay!” Linda was twirling around the kitchen, using the spatula as a makeshift microphone. “ _Tina-bo-Bina, banana-fana-fo-fina_ —”

“Tiiiiina!” Gene finished from the other room.

“He gets it!” Linda said, pointing towards the living room.

Bob sighed. “I think the patties are burning.”

“Aw, nuts,” Linda said. “I don’t know why you couldn’t fix the coming home meal, Bobby.”

“Oh really?” Bob said, his tone rising with indignation. “You _don’t know why_?” For added emphasis, he raised his bandaged right hand.

“Oh…yeah, well, you shouldn’t have let me buy the Christmas tree so early!” Linda countered, glowering at the salmon patties, two of which had some pretty wicked scorch marks.

“We do this _every year_ , Linda!” Bob was almost shouting.

“And did I tell you to come with me? No. Louise, Gene, and I were managing just fine on our own. There was no need for you to get involved.”

“He was jacking up the prices on the wimpiest trees, Lin! He was a Christmas tree scalper!”

“Did you have to punch him?”

“Yes, Linda. Yes, I did. I stand by what I did, and no one can— _owwwww!”_ He had tried to point his finger at her to make a point and forgot about his injury.

“There, that’ll teach ya to try to be the ‘big man.’” She said, flipping the salmon patties and realizing they were all getting scorched. “Though, now that I think about it, Bobby…it was kind of sexy, you coming to our aid like that.” She turned back to him. “Your face all red, your muscles bulging—”

“Ooooooh boy, I’ll come back later,” Louise said, having tried to enter the kitchen to check the status of dinner. She promptly turned on her heel and sat on the couch with Gene and Rudy.

“Your mom telling that story again?” Rudy said, making room on the cushion beside him.

Louise shuddered. “With…embellishments. It’s almost as bad as Tina’s erotic friend fiction.”

A familiar chugging sound was heard outside, and all eyes went to the open window. Though it was a crisp, wintry day, Linda had insisted they keep at least one window open to hear Old Faithful’s arrival—and subsequently, Tina’s.

“She’s here! Oh, my God, I’m gonna faint—my Tina!” Linda ran to the living room, spatula still in hand, and put her head out the window. “It _is_ her! Oh, she’s got someone with her. Bobby, set another place at the table!” she yelled this last over her shoulder, to which he gave an unintelligible response.

Three other heads peered around her to watch the arrival.

Gene gasped. “A college lover!” He gasped even louder when Tina and her passenger exited the car. “ZEKE!!”

“Lin, the salmon patties are burning!”

“Aw, nuts,” Linda ran to the kitchen to see if she could salvage the main course and various sides that she had burned, undercooked, or neglected completely.

The rest of the crew went to the stairs and peered over the bannister while Bob was given the privilege of escorting his oldest daughter into the house.

“I’ll take care of bringing in her luggage, shall I?” He called up to the expectant faces with heavy sarcasm.

“You can do it, Dad!” Gene yelled back.

“We believe in you,” Louise added.

“You’ve got a _hand_ -le on the situation,” Rudy finished, earning himself a high five from Louise.

Tina and Zeke were ushered into the home in a whirlwind of voices, hugs, kisses, and windmill high fives.

Linda came to join the group and declared, “Everyone out! We’re getting Chinese.”

“She burned everything, didn’t she?” Louise said.

“There was a pot of uncooked rice still in the water,” Bob said.

“Oh, go suck on a grape!” Linda retorted.

The group decided to walk the block and a half to Chen’s China Emporium. Even Jimmy Pesto, Sr. couldn’t think of an insult to yell out the door of his restaurant as he saw them passing. They looked perfectly content in each other’s company, with Zeke and Tina looking supremely chummy, and Louise and that asthmatic kid (Randy?) pulling up the rear. He sighed. They were the picture of a happy family.

But what the heck. Old habits die hard.

Jimmy Pesto stepped out on the curb and yelled, “Hey Belchers! Your clunker of a car break down again? _Zoom!_ ”

“Hey Pesto! Did your face break down, or should I come break it for you?” Bob called back, lifting his bandaged hand, and then crying out in pain. “Damnit, I was trying to flip him off.”

“You told him, Mr. B!” Zeke shouted.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, now, what do we have here? Another chapter? I might just keep going. You just wait and see! :D


	12. Christmas Magic

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Zeke and Tina run a solo errand. Rudy surprises Louise.

“I love your family, T, but Gene is a grade-a clinger,” he said to Tina one afternoon on an errand to the supermarket.

Zeke was incredibly grateful to the Belchers. Hell, they were giving him free room and board since his dad was on yet another cruise—a singles’ one this time. He and Paula (if that was her name) didn’t work out, so Zeke was staying in the basement with Rudy on two twin air mattresses.

“We’re part of like, a club or something,” Zeke had said, slapping Rudy on the back (who coughed, but recovered with dignity).

“Absentee Father’s Anonymous?” Rudy offered.

Zeke guffawed at this, and Rudy was clearly pleased.

But Zeke had been secretly hoping he and Tina could sneak away and get some alone time.

Not so.

Once, Tina pretended to give Zeke a tour of the house, and while stealing a kiss in her old bedroom, Gene burst in with an announcement that he’d come up with a new song.

“It’s called ‘Mullet, Please, Rest In Peace,’ and it goes something like this—” At which point, Gene whipped out his Q-chord (his latest musical exploration) and began to serenade them.

Zeke endured this and didn’t want to crush Gene’s spirits, so he settled on: “Wow, that was somethin’, Gene.”

Out of desperation, Tina finally contrived a plan she thought was foolproof. She declared that she and Zeke needed to go to the basement “to get more napkins” (a.k.a. make out in the freezer), when Gene suddenly appeared, opening the door and stating he had a meme he just _had_ to show them.

“I think he’s just lonely,” Tina responded, examining the onions and trying to decipher Mr. B’s chicken scratch instructions.

They were on a shopping errand, and they weren’t in any particular hurry. It was the only time they’d been alone together since two days ago.

“Yeah, what happened with him and that Peter Pescadaro kid?” Zeke said, examining several avocados.

He didn’t know much about the fruit (or was it a vegetable?) but he knew that they had to be _just_ the right mix of firmness and softness. Kind of like a softball.

“I can’t keep up with his dating life,” Tina said, moving the cart to the other side to load it down with bags of potatoes. Zeke snapped out of his reverie and assisted her with this.

“First it’s Courtney,” she said, “Then it’s Peter, then it’s Courtney again for a few weeks, and then he recently mentioned this person he had a crush on named Jamie. We’re taking bets to see if it’s a guy or a girl.” Tina glanced around and added a bit too loudly (as if someone might have overheard her out of context), “Not that it matters, of course.”

Zeke smirked. “Well, ‘course not. He likes who he likes.”

For this statement, he received a quick peck on the cheek from Tina, and _damn_ if he wasn’t tempted to kiss her in the middle of Fresh Feed. He felt his face burning, so he turned away and continued with his train of thought.

“But he needs to tone it down a bit with the…I don’t know what you call it,” he said.

“The bromance,” Tina said, her eyes glinting behind her lenses.

He knew that look. She was probably considering some new friend fiction storyline. He took the cart in one hand and placed his arm around her waist with the other, guiding her out of the produce section. She was lost in her own fantasy world.

Suddenly, she froze, and he almost tripped when the cart continued to move forward. She was staring fixedly at a nearby end cap.

Zeke followed her gaze and saw a tall, slim figure in jeans that some might call “perfectly tailored.” The figure turned, saw them, and approached.

“Uuuuuuuugh,” Tina began to groan.

“We got this, girl,” Zeke said under his breath.

“Uh, hi, Tina. Zeke,” Jimmy Jr. said, with only a hint of his old lisp.

Zeke took a breath and decided to go for friendly and upbeat. “Jay-Ju, it’s been forever, man! How are ya?”

Jimmy Jr. was visibly surprised. “Uh, I’m good. Yeah, good, I guess. You guys in town?”

“Yep, just visiting the folks.” Zeke pressed gently on Tina’s hip.

“Cool, cool.”

Tina seemed to snap out of her momentary paralysis and said, rather quickly, “You should come by the restaurant sometime, Jimmy Jr. It will be nice to catch up.”

He stared at her, and even Zeke was surprised by this gesture.

“Sure—sure, yeah, that sounds nice. Thanks,” Jimmy Jr. said, and he shuffled off toward the exit with an awkward wave at the pair of them.

Tina glanced at Zeke, her cheeks flushed. “Maybe I shouldn’t have done that, but…a lot of us went off to school, and I feel like he was sort of left behind. I hope you’re not mad?”

“You kiddin’? You’re a Belcher. It’s what you guys do.”

They finished their shopping trip and stole a few precious moments to themselves by parking in an empty lot across the street. Zeke knew it would be their last quiet moment alone, so they used their time wisely and managed to steam up the car windows in the process. Thank goodness Old Faithful kept her secrets.

\--

Louise tugged absently at her dark, stubborn locks of hair. She groaned, realizing she had slept on it wrong and now had a weird kink in the side of it. This would be so much easier if she hadn’t gotten rid of her hat…but she couldn’t bring it back.

She grabbed one of Tina’s old barrettes and clamped it down on her hair, hoping it didn’t look too dopey.

“Hey, nice hair clip!” Rudy said, giving her an appraising look. “Trying something new?”

She grumbled and landed facedown on his air mattress in the basement. Zeke and Tina were still at the store (taking longer than necessary) so the pair of them had the room to themselves for a while.

The air mattress bounced as Rudy sat down beside her. She heard a crinkling of paper and looked up to see a present in front of her face.

“What’s this?”

“Well, that would be telling. Open it.”

She glanced at him and narrowed her eyes. “We said we weren’t doing gifts…”

Rudy shrugged his shoulder, the hint of a blush creeping up his neck. “I lied.”

Louise heaved a dramatic sigh. Rudy was getting awfully defiant these days. She kind of liked it.

She pulled the hot pink tissue paper out and tossed it into the air with a flourish. The bag was black (decidedly un-Christmassy, and she liked this, too) and inside she found a small white container.

“‘Yes-Bre! Home Ombre kit for your luscious locks. Deep cherry shade,’” she read aloud.

Her eyes drifted back to Rudy. He rubbed his ear and muttered, “I, uh, thought you might still miss your hat. Pink—well, pink-ish hair might help to kind of—”

But it was too late because Louise had tackled him. She kissed him rather harder than she planned, and they both drew back with a laugh. Rudy nursed his lip before drawing her to him with a gentler, searching kiss.

Her hand reached up of its own volition and flicked his ear.

“Ow, Louise!” He cried out. “I’m fine, I don’t need my inhaler!”

“Sorry,” she said. “Old habits.”

He laughed his wheezy, somewhat breathless laugh before wrapping his arms around her. And she’d kill anyone in her family if they came down and witnessed this carefree snuggle session. She sighed contentedly, burying her face in his chest.

This guy was going to be the death of her, she just knew it.

And asthma would probably end Rudy, so it would be a fair fight.

She flicked his ear again when he wasn't paying attention.

"Louise!" he said, grabbing a pillow and smacking her with it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Soooo this one is potentially a bit sappier than my other stuff. Anyway, I hope you enjoyed it regardless of its tooth-decaying fluffiness.
> 
> On a personal side-note, and because I'm protected by the spirit of anonymity on here and am DYING to tell SOMEONE...I just found out that my husband and I might be expecting our first baby. While we're super excited, I've actually been dealing with some (evening) morning sickness. Just expect some delays in posting till I'm feeling the creative juices (and not the nausea) flowing through me.
> 
> Thanks everyone!! <3 <3


	13. I Wanna Hear Your Secrets

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Gene gasped and sat up. “You’re a genius!” he stood and faced Zeke. “I could kiss you, man!”
> 
> “No, you—really don’t need to do that.” Tina said, stepping between the two of them.

Tina parked the car and glanced in the rearview mirror to straighten her hair (it had somehow made its way into matted peaks on top of her head during their intense make-out session across from the grocery store).

"Even though we'll be busy with school, I'm kind of looking forward to going back."

"Why's that?" He leaned over and offered to assist with her hair, but she waved him away when he made it worse.

“Exciting as it is, this having to sneak around to get some alone time is getting old,” Tina said.

Zeke smirked. “But sneakin’ around is what we do best.” He winked at her when she gave him a horrified glance.

“I thought I was going to die when your roommate opened the closet in your dorm room! I don’t know how you convinced him not to tell anyone.”

Zeke guffawed. “He sneaks girls up to our room all the time, T! It was only fair.”

Tina was quiet. He could tell she wanted to ask something.

“Whut?” he said, poking her in the arm.

“Ugh, how do you always know when I have something to say?”

“You get this little look on your face, like all squinched up or something,” he said.

She rolled her eyes, but she couldn’t fight the smile that tugged at her lips. “I was just going to say...was I the first girl you snuck up to your room?”

His face flushed, remembering the night of the party and his rude exclamation of a similar question, almost as if he were accusing her. He hated himself for doing that. But here she was, asking him nicely. He loved that about her.

“Yep,” he said. “The first.”

Tina glanced at him, her face a bit flushed (more than it had been since their heavy make-out session earlier).

"I'll talk to Gene about his interruptions," she said, stepping out of Old Faithful and handing him a few bags to carry into the restaurant.

\--

Louise was ready to pounce the moment she saw Zeke and Tina returning with the groceries. She did her best to ignore their obviously rumpled state ( _good God, they cannot keep their hands off each other_ ) and waited impatiently while they packed the items into the kitchen fridge. Zeke walked past Tina and gave her a wink, to which she blushed profusely and glanced away with a smirk.

Louise tugged on her hair. She hated waiting. And she was getting more annoyed by the minute.

“Can you please stop giving each other puppy eyes for _two seconds_?” She screeched. “We are at Defcon 1 Cabbage situation.”

Tina spun around and fixed Louise with a deadly serious expression. “Where is he? Are we at a dangerous level?”

Louise nodded sadly. “I’m afraid so. We’re at a level three.”

Tina frowned. “This is bad.” She glanced around. “Basement freezer?”

“Where else would he be?” Louise scoffed at her older sister. Had she really forgotten everything at college? Did their arbitrary measurement systems mean nothing to her??

“Uh—” Zeke was confused, but he trailed along anyway as Tina grabbed his arm.

“There’s no time to explain!” Louise cried out, shoving his back as the trio made their way down the stairs.

Louise jumped past them and swung open the door to the freezer. “Oh, heeeeey, Gene,” she said, doing her best impression of Linda’s sweet, overly sympathetic tone.

“Sweet be- _jeezus_ ,” Zeke said under his breath.

“Don’t look at me, I’m a monster!” Gene said, cowering in the corner with what appeared to be a trail of half-eaten cabbage on the icy floor.

“Gene, it’s okay. It’s just your sisters—and Zeke.” Tina said, using her babysitter voice.

“The Z-man cannot see me like this!!!” Gene wailed, shoving another handful of cabbage into his mouth.

“Gene, put the cabbage down.” Louise said, taking a cautious step into the freezer.

“You can’t make me!” He retorted, tossing a handful in her direction.

Louise dodged this expertly (Tina wasn’t so lucky when it landed square in her face).

“Gene, put it down and no one gets hurt,” Louise said.

The youngest Belcher approached slowly while the middle Belcher dipped his hand into the plastic tub, his fingers inches away from a fresh head of cabbage. Without warning, she leaped through the air and pounced on him.

“DROP! THE! CABBAGE!” With each word, she punctuated it by hitting him with the almost empty plastic container.

“Ow, OKAY! FINE!” Gene said, holding his hands up in surrender.

Tina stepped forward (once she’d managed to clean her glasses) and pulled her brother to his feet. Tina and Louise wrangled Gene all the way upstairs to their home, where they deposited him in the bathroom and shut the door.

“Sooo…” Zeke said, staring at the closed door.

“Oh, sorry,” Tina said, realizing Zeke was still lost. “If Gene is trying to avoid something, he does this thing where he eats all the cabbage and then has to spend the rest of the day on the toilet. It’s a classic avoidance technique.”

“Right,” Zeke said, not understanding, but really not surprised given his colorful history with the Belchers.

“Gene!” Louise pounded the door. “Get rid of all those farts, mister, and then we’re having a sibling meeting in the living room.”

“Never!” Gene screamed.

“Ooooh, alright then. I guess I’ll just go eat the rest of the ice cream. You like Chunky Monkey, Zeke?”

“Hell yeah,” he said, playing along (but he also wasn’t picky about his ice cream).

“YOU TOUCH MY BEN AND JERRY’S AND YOU’RE ALL DEAD TO ME! EVEN YOU, Z-MAN!”

“Sorry, dude. I ain’t gonna turn down free ice cream.”

A loud scream of rage was heard (followed by what Tina delicately referred to as “bathroom noises”), then the flush of a toilet, and soon Gene was facing them with a reddened face.

Louise, Tina, and Zeke all pinched their noses when the smell reached them.

“Good God, Gene. You’ve still got it,” Louise said, impressed.

Tina took a deep breath and grabbed the Febreze spray, making short work of filling the bathroom with a mixture of warm cinnamon and Gene’s handiwork.

Gene walked past everyone and collapsed face first onto the couch.

“Alright, Gene. We’re here, and we’re listening,” Tina said, slipping back into her babysitter voice.

“Uuuuuugh—” Gene groaned, sounding a little bit like Tina. “Jamie came by the restaurant today to ask me a question, but I got scared and ran away.”

“Aww, I’m sure it wasn’t that bad,” Tina tried to console him.

“No, T. I witnessed it. It was, uh…bad. Really bad.” Louise said, her face sober.

Tina leaned over and in a loud whisper asked, “Is Jamie a guy or a girl? Not that it matters—”

The front door opened and a pair of footsteps ascended the stairs. A familiar ginger head poked out above the bannister.

“I heard we’ve got ourselves a Code Cabbage situation?” Rudy said, taking a puff of his inhaler for added effect.

“ET TU, LOUISE?” Gene said. “You told Rudy? Is _nothing_ sacred??”

The youngest belcher shrugged, blushing slightly.

“It’s about Jamie, right?” Rudy added, and Gene groaned from his prone position on the couch.

“So what’s the plan, Gene?” Louise said, pacing in front of the couch. “We could find out where he lives and egg his house. That would show him!!”

“Uuuuugh—Jamie’s mom is a vegan,” he replied. “They wouldn’t appreciate it.”

“Okay, scratch that off the list. Unless…that would be even _more_ insulting,” Louise said with a dangerous glint in her eyes.

“Louise,” Rudy said warningly. The glint in her eyes faded. He was possibly the only person who could talk her down from a ridiculous scheme.

“We could just try asking Jamie to come over and talk it out—” Tina offered, but she was quickly shut down by the other two Belchers.

“I’m not good at talking!” Gene said.

“Yeah, he sucks at that,” Louise offered at the same time.

“Not great,” Rudy even added to the mix.

“How bout them wicked tunes?” Zeke said after a pause.

Gene gasped and sat up. “You’re a genius!” he stood and faced Zeke. “I could kiss you, man!”

“No, you—really don’t need to do that.” Tina said, stepping between the two of them.

Gene was too excited to notice Tina’s half-playful reprimand, but before they could put any of their plans into action, however, there was the small task of enjoying Christmas with the Belchers. Linda appeared to be especially concerned that Zeke and Rudy in particular felt included in everything. Zeke was conscripted to help Bob with the casseroles, and Rudy was roped into decorating the fake tree that Bob had bought for the family.

“So extravagant, Bobby!” Linda had protested.

“We spend just as much money if not more on those real trees you insist on buying too early,” Bob insisted in his low monotone.

“Oh! We could still get a real one, Bobby! Two trees, can you imagine? TWO trees!” Linda said, gasping and losing herself in the idea.

“Lin, no.”

At last, the food was cooked, pajamas were put on, and the Belchers engaged in their Christmas Eve tradition of watching obscure holiday films and television episodes.

Zeke’s phone buzzed, and he excused himself from a rare holiday episode of The Twilight Zone to answer the call.

When he returned, Tina noticed he was frowning, which wasn’t a typical expression he wore. He sat down beside her on the floor, but she knew something was off.

“Everything okay?” she whispered.

He shook his head once. “Dad’s back. Wants me to come home.”

Tina’s heart sank immediately. She leaned against him and sighed as the credits rolled on the episode.

“What’s next? I think it’s Louise’s turn to decide,” Linda said, reaching for the remote, which Louise snatched away.

“It’s Hawk and Chick time, baby!”

Zeke stood up and effectively got everyone’s attention. He announced he needed to leave, and Tina quickly offered to drive him over to his dad’s. Linda expressed her disappointment (with unnecessary histrionics as usual), and Zeke found his spirits sank even more at the thought of not getting to spend Christmas morning with the Belchers. He almost envied Rudy his absentee father in that moment.

Louise hid her disappointment by turning on Hawk and Chick and saying she would text him a summary later.

Zeke and Tina departed, and the first part of their ride was pretty quiet. She didn’t even offer to turn on any music. She did, however, park a few blocks away from his dad’s house to sneak in a few last moments with him.

“Are you okay?” she asked him.

He sighed. “I guess. I was really upset he came home, actually. How sad is that? I would rather spend time with your family than with my own flesh an’ blood.”

Tina said nothing but took his hand in hers. She was beginning to understand that Zeke felt things deeply, and the moments he decided to show his emotions were rare and precious.

“You can always come back and see us tomorrow, right?”

“Nah, I’ll stink of cigarettes. And he’ll probably want me to stay for a few days. I haven’t seen him in months.”

“Okay,” Tina said, doing nothing to hide her disappointment. “Call me as much as you want. Maybe we can steal you away for another visit before we have to go back to school.”

He turned and met her gaze, wiping angrily at a few stray tears that had welled up in his eyes. “You and your family are just…the best.”

He was struck with a sudden recollection and reached in the back seat to pull out a small, crudely wrapped package.

“Wanted to wait and give this to you tomorrow,” he said with a slight flush. “It’s nothing big.”

“Zeke!” Tina cried out. “I didn’t bring yours with me!”

“That’s okay,” he said. “Gives me somethin’ to look forward to later.”

She sighed and gave him a fond smile before tearing into the gift. She discovered two new composition notebooks, both emblazoned with Stockton’s school logo, and a pack of new ballpoint pens.

“See, it’s nothin’ big,” Zeke added.

Tina leaned over and stopped the flow of his words with a kiss. “It’s not nothing. I needed these.”

He supposed he hadn’t totally screwed it up after all, and they engaged in a bit more making out before he reluctantly told her he needed to go. As she watched him walking away, she was determined to find a bit more alone time with him before the new semester started.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's about time Gene got a little story arc of his own. More on that later.
> 
> Happy belated Christmas, my dears! Sending all my love and hopes for a happy and healthy holiday with friends and loved ones. <3 <3


End file.
